Art of Listening & Leadership - Bill Clinton Shows the Way

I attended two days "Leaders in London" Conference end of last year.  The speakers' line-up was impressive.  Tuesday started with Mr Mikhail Gorbachiv (in person), Professor Marvin Zonis, Alan Leighton, Terence Conran, Lou Gerstner, Professor Clayton Christensen of Harvard and many others including the one and only Bill Clinton (live via Satellite).

On the Art Of Listening and Leadership - "Something I have been trying to learn for the last 25 years" I want to share with you the lesson and the leadership by example that Bill Clinton tough us all in the conference on the art of listening.

After he made his speech, he started taking questions. I asked one too, the President and the audience were visibly amused by my name especially after assuring them that "I am the nice one".

Among the attendees, there was a lady who didn't speak good English and earlier in the day when she was given the microphone to ask a question, she went on and on for 5 minutes and no one understood what she was trying to ask or say and we all laughed.  When it came to Clinton question time, she raised her hand again to ask a question, the moderator warned her to be quick and to the point.  The lady took the Microphone and started to rumble on and on.  Again it seemed that no one understood what she was saying, people started to laugh, boo, clap their hand for her to stop.  After a few minutes of this saga, the moderator cut her microphone off and gave the question time to someone else. People were cheering his decision to move on, after all no one wanted to be embarrassed in front off the great president.

While all this saga was taking place and all of us laughing and disapproving of this behavior from the lady, only one person was NOT laughing, Bill Clinton.  In fact he leaned forward to the camera and put his hand on his ears and focused intently and seriously.  30 minutes passed while he answered a few other questions from the audience and when the time came to close, he said very politely; Wait Rene, before you close...  Earlier on a lady asked me a long question and I would like to talk about that for a minute.

The hall dropped into silence, he continued by saying, in fact the lady made a very important point, and he went on to summarize her point which was about families in the developing world (none of the audience knew that), and he asked to be allowed to answer this important question, which he himself put together from her scattered little stories before we the audience interrupted and stopped her.

Now I began to understand at the hands of the guru of leadership and listening in practice and what he was trying to teach by his actions.  When we JUDGE anyone or anything, we stop listening.  It seems that the act of judgment triggers some chemicals in our ears that physically stops us from listening.  Pre-judgment seems to be the mother of all sins on this planet. There seems to be no other solution to world problems but the forgotten art of listening and stopping judgment.  This is what I learned that day and I hope it stays with me forever.

This was also an impressive performance by a world leader who is not only very intelligent but also listens very seriously to what people are saying.

I will never forget this incident which taught me a lot about leadership and what listening is all about and here I am humbly sharing my experience with you hoping that it adds a little to our understanding of the Art of listening.

By: Osama El-Kadi

Author Bio
Osama El-kadi
Born 1955 in Manchester England Osama El-Kadi graduated in 1978 with a BSC in Economics followed by an MA in International Business from Alexandria University. The Art Of Negotiation.

Article Source:http://www.articlegeek.com/self-improvement/inspiration_articles/3931-artoflisteningl.htm

You Need To Retrain Your Mind To Fulfill Your Dreams And Ambitions

The majority of people are unaware that they are sometimes controlled by internal beliefs and thought patterns that were long-ago established as an effective way to live one's life. However, in current day circumstances, they sabotage achieving goals.

The fact is, all of us possess self-sabotaging elements that can manifest at any time and in a variety of ways. This not-so-silent enemy within usually remains in stealth mode despite its repeated pattern of interference with our own self-declared desires.

However, I hasten to add that long before you were fully aware of life's vicissitudes, you were indoctrinated and conditioned to believe and act in certain ways.

Self-destructive patterns are best described as "Behavior that creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals.' The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with illegal drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, comfort eating-resulting in weight gain, self-injury and lack of self-confidence. While these acts might seem helpful in the moment, you ultimately undermine your Self, especially when you engage in them repeatedly."

What prompts people to continue these 'click-whirl' internal self-sabotaging behaviors that betray one's best intentions? The psychological construct is the result of a defense strategy for many experiences that engendered feelings that weren't processed. These experiences can be as simple as something that prompted a feeling of rejection, a feeling of being unworthy, unimportant, and the list goes on. For example, a person who has difficulty smiling or laughing is considered stoic. While being stoic in some circumstances is a virtue, it is also a deterrent to ones social life. People who are socially stoic are often perceived to be a bore with no sense of humor.

What are these 'click-whirl' internal self-destructive mechanisms that betray our best intentions? Technically, most of them arise as a result of a defense strategy. They can be as simple as something we do to avoid rejection that is the result of an embarrassing childhood experience. For example, a man who simply didn't laugh. Indeed, Sam (not his real name) was unable to even fully smile. His wife and friends thought of him as stoic and that was fine with Sam until he discovered that he was often not invited to events because of his lack of humor. When he made inquiries regarding this, Sam discovered that others found him to be a bore who could wilt the humor in any party. Sam was crushed to learn his inability to be jovial or laugh was costing him and his wife social enjoyment.

Sam decided to discover what prompted him to behave this way. Searching the Internet he found my website. Together we began the journey to discover the emotional/mental wounds that prompted him to be stoic without smiling or laughing.

Sam discovered a childhood event that led to his inability to relax and laugh. He related to the humor in many things, but he withheld his expression because when he was young other children had mocked him for the way he laughed, and for his "crooked" smile.

Sam did not consciously tell himself something such as, "Build a defense mechanism that prevents me from being ridiculed in the future because of my laugh." Albeit, that's what his unconscious mind managed for him. It is, after all, the job of a healthy unconscious mind to protect us. Thus, Sam's automatic mechanism, with 'click-whirl' precision, simply arrested his expression of humor to protect him from ridicule. And this unconscious automatic mechanism remained in place until Sam made his discovery, and accepted a set of new thoughts to prompt, smiling, laughing humorous responses.

This is a simple example of how a defense mechanism that worked then is sabotaging life now. However, there are also very compound and complex mechanisms that can arise for many reasons including compensation.

It is a human trait, as the herd animals that many people are, to seek acceptance and avoid rejection. It is also a human trait to compete for attention or in the alternative, to adopt low to non-competitive strategies as a pattern of avoidance. For some, both of these patterns can be operational and activated at different times under different circumstances.

The bottom line is, many people have unknown self-sabotaging mechanisms of some sort that raises its ugly head from time to time, and that is why certain goals can remain unattainable despite one's best efforts.

Eliminating self-sabotage is a primary step in getting your house (life) in order. In at least one sense, ending self-destructive patterns is the weeding out of ideas and behaviors that prevent you from achieving all that you are otherwise capable of enjoying. As such, the path to success requires the elimination of self-destructive behavior patterns, and the best tool to assist you in this process is discovering your InnerTalk: Eliminating Self-Sabotage.

Recognize Patterns:

The objective of the path to ending self-sabotage begins by recognizing that you possess this potential. By pursuing its possibilities, you begin to recognize patterns of behavior that have common antecedents. Diligently attending to your thoughts often reveals inner beliefs, biases, and the like that you do not wish to continue to own. Strengthening your resolve for deliberation you gain more control over self-regulation. Each time you are successful at halting an automatic mechanism pattern, you begin to eliminate the pattern and thereby end the habit.

A New Year has historically prompted people to decide to make changes. Thus, the practice of deciding to make changes at the beginning of a New Year became known as New Year's Resolutions.

Unfortunately and typically the majority of people fail to complete their resolutions. The University of Scranton research suggests that approximately 8% of people achieve their New Year's resolutions. Some studies reveal that more than 40% of Americans-make New Year's resolutions. (For comparison, about one-third of Americans watch the Super Bowl.)

When you intend to be successful changing your life, then remember this:

In order to fulfill your dreams and ambitions, you need to take the time to retrain your mind. Your mind was properly trained to do what you are doing now. You need to discover what drives your self-sabotage and bring in the support you need to develop a strategy and implement the change to create your success.

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein

"What were you thinking?" has become a well-worn cliché. However, it has merit, because we function from our beliefs (thinking). Therefore, our beliefs need to be accessed at the unconscious level and replaced with beliefs that will propel successful endeavors.*

This moment is the first moment of the rest of your life. You can harness your unconscious mind to create what many people call magic!

Are you willing to take the steps required to claim your happiness, success, fulfillment, and financial freedom? Will you take advantage of the opportunity to create a new reality for your life?

It's time to SHIFT and get prepared for what's coming up for your life... so I want you to put your heart and soul into paying close attention to how much mental, emotional and physical pain you are in. Then, step by step you can make the SHIFT gently, easily, and without having to deal with the mental and emotional pain and stress of not knowing what to do, not feeling your best, and all the other OLD WAYS that are holding you back.

You might need to ask for assistance to clear out the self-doubt, fear, guilt, shame or unworthiness-i.e. the beliefs that sabotage your success.

Here's to living your dream life NOW.

There is no shame in asking for assistance to create happiness and success. If you have read the books, taken workshops, had psychic readings, taken Prescriptions, and OTC drugs etc. and still struggle; you might have emotional blocks preventing you from moving into your happiness and desires.

This is an investment in your health, happiness, success, fulfillment, and financial freedom. Following the principles in this process will change your life forever and I want you to experience it yourself as soon as possible.

Remember only you can take care of your happiness and emotional, physical and spiritual health.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Dorothy_M._Neddermeyer,_PhD/5195

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