How Well Do You Know Your SELF?

Although it seems, the vast majority, of individuals, appear to believe, they fully understand, themselves, including their needs, goals, priorities, strengths, weaknesses, etc, the reality is, it is indeed, only the rare person, who is actually, ready, willing, and able, to proceed, with the utmost degree of introspection, and objectivity, in order to truly, know his SELF! Either most of us, bury - our - head - in the sand, and proceed, with a sense of denial, or, we are unwilling, to do, all that's needed and necessary, to become the best, we might possibly be. With that in mind, this article will attempt to briefly, discuss, review, and consider, using the mnemonic approach, what this means, and why it's important and relevant.

1. Strengths; system; solutions: Begin this process, by objectively, and thoroughly, considering, and evaluating, both, your strengths, as well as weaknesses! How will knowing, and understanding these, make you, better, and more effective? Develop your own, personal system, which will bring out, the best, in you, and do, so, carefully! When obstacles present themselves, will you resort to blaming and complaining, or realize, quality and improvement, comes from proceeding, consistently, in a solutions-oriented manner! Avoid making excuses, but, consistently, proceed, focused on achieving your objectives!

2. Emphasis; empathy; excellence; endurance: You'll only get along, better, with others, when you are willing to listen effectively and learn consistently, in order to proceed, with the utmost degree, of genuine empathy! Be strategic, and know, where to place your emphasis! Avoid the temptation, to accept, good - enough, but, rather, demand your utmost degree, of personal excellence. You must realize, life always presents obstacles and challenges, and the most successful people, see obstacles as challenges, rather than problems, and persist when others give up! Will you maintain this level of relevant endurance, in order to remain personally motivated, to focus on being, the best, you might possibly be?

3. Like; love; learning; listening; leadership: Do you actually, like yourself, and consider, yourself, worthy of being respected, etc? Do you care, enough, to love, to do, what you need to? What will you be learning, every day? Are you paying attention, listening, and becoming better, by benefiting from every experience, and/ or conversation? Do you have the personal leadership, to do, what's best, rather than merely, expedient?

4. Faith; face facts; fruition: Will you have enough, faith, in yourself, to trust, your decisions, and do, what's best? Instead of burying - your - head, in the sand, it's important, to face the facts, and proceed, accordingly! Productivity comes from bringing your objectives, etc, to fruition!

How well do you understand, and know, your SELF? How might you, consistently, use this, to become better?

By Richard Brody

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-Well-Do-You-Know-Your-SELF?&id=9928864

Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, Director of Development, consultant, professionally run events, consulted to thousands of leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for 4 decades. Rich has written three books and thousands of articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website http://plan2lead.net and Plan2lead can also be followed on Facebook http://facebook.com/Plan2lead

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9928864

See Dramatic Improvement in Your Eye Contact Skills

 Is your eye contact aggressive, is it soft, is it inviting, do you love with your eyes? Eye contact is a very tricky art to master but vital to effective communication. How can you make it better?

Eye contact provides social information to the person you are listening to and talking to. Too much eye contact and you could be seen as aggressive, too little eye contact and you can be seen as having no interest in the person speaking. It is an often overlooked skill to have and an underutilised skill when communicating with people. You can see masters of eye contact in great salespersons, politicians, and good public speakers.

I realised the importance of eye contact when I was counselling people face to face. I noticed when I broke eye contact the person would stop speaking. When I maintained eye contact the person would continue talking knowing that I was interested in what they had to say.
Physiological signs of eye contact

Street traders know the importance of the eyes when using their selling skills to keep their potential buyers interested. When you are aroused or interested in an object your pupils will dilate and this is a big cue for salesmen all over the world.

Also when you are interested in someone sexually your pupils will dilate and you hold the person's gaze a little longer than normal. When I was single I always knew when a girl was interested in me through her eyes, now that I am married if I get the same signs I discourage eye contact.
Everyday conversation and eye contact

We will use eye contact every day of our lives so it makes sense to learn the best ways to use your eyes to your advantage.

Certain situations demand different uses of the eyes. For example, if you are arguing it is seen as strong if you can hold your gaze. If you are referring to someone it is better to lower your eyes, if you are loving someone it is good to stare at the pool of the eyes.
6 Ways to improve your eye contact skills

1. Talking to a group - When talking to a group of people it is great to have direct contact with your listeners. However, you contact maintain eye contact with just one person as this will stop the other members of the group from listening. To get past this, focus on a different member of the group with every new sentence. This way you are talking to all of the group and keeping them all interested.

2. Talking to an individual - It is great to maintain eye contact when talking to a person however it can become a bit creepy and uncomfortable if you stare intensely at them. To combat this, break eye contact every 5 seconds or so. When breaking the eye contact don't look down as this might indicate the ending of your part of the conversation. Instead, look up or to the side as if you are remembering something. Try it just now: don't move your head, and think about the first time you started school. You will notice your eyes might move up or to the side as you try to remember this. So when your listener sees this they will think you are trying to remember something and keep on listening to you.

3. Listening to someone - When you are listening to someone it can be off-putting for the talker if you stare at them too hard. The technique I use when I am counselling someone is to use what I call 'The triangle'. This is when I look at one eye for about 5 seconds, look at the other eye for 5 seconds and then look at the mouth for 5 seconds and keep on rotating in this way. This technique coupled with other listening skills such as nodding, occasional agreement words such as 'yes', 'Uh -huh' 'mm' etc is a great way to keep the talker talking and to show them you are interested in what they are saying.

4. Arguing - Arguing with someone is a skill in itself and if you want to compete in an argument holding the gaze shows strength. If you look away when arguing with someone you have all but lost the argument. Obviously this depends on who you are arguing with but in general, it is better to hold the gaze whilst you are making your point and also when you are listening to the other person. We have all come across the person who is great at arguing and making you feel small, you will notice that everyone who is like this try to stare you out. Stare back, it will surprise them, piss them off and put them off what they are trying to say. Staying silent and staring at someone who is trying to rile you is also an effective way to win an argument without saying a word.

5. Attracting someone - When you are trying to attract someone and show them you are interested you can talk and listen with your eyes. When a person you like is speaking using the whole face as your focal point. Look at their eyes, listen to what they are saying, smile in the appropriate places, raise your eyebrows in the appropriate places. If you feel you are staring at them move to their other features such as their lips, their cheeks, their nose and then back to their eyes. Smiling when listening to someone is a great way to show you are interested in them, obviously don't smile when they have just told you their pet died last night. You have to listen with your ears as well as listening with your eyes (yes I did mean listening with your eyes, you listen to someone's body language with your eyes).

6. Loving someone - My wife and I often share a prolonged gaze into each other's eyes and it is a very special thing to just stare without talking. My wife's pupils will dilate and she can my pupils dilating. It creates a strong bond between us. To make your pupils dilate even more you can try this: as you are staring at your partner imagine yourself going inside their body and your two souls making love. You are trying to touch their very soul. This will release adrenalin and make your pupils dilate even more.





 by Jason Swanson
Read about astilbe fanal and astilbe chinensis at the Astilbe Flower website.
http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/See-Dramatic-Improvement-in-Your-Eye-Contact-Skills/198532