Inspirational Video - You can be a hero too

Developing Extraordinary Resilience

We’re all beset with difficulties, obstacles, pain, tiredness, and a thousand other setbacks, small and large.

What determines whether we take these setbacks in stride, or let them bring us down, is something that psychologists call “resilience.” It’s an ability to come back from setbacks, adapt, learn, but not be dragged down by these setbacks.

I’ve found resilience to be an important factor in my own journey, from struggling through finances and health changes over the years, to navigating the scary and uncertain waters of running my own business.

Resilience has allowed me to:

• Run several marathons and an ultramarathon (among other physical challenges) despite injuries and other training setbacks.
• Write numerous books and courses, even in the middle of personal challenges, fears, delays due to procrastination, and more.
• Face challenges such as debt or declining income with a positive attitude, and deal with the challenges as they come.
• Raise six kids (with perhaps a little help from my wife) no matter what difficulties they face, or what personal baggage I’m bringing as a father.
• Deal with deaths in the family with an open heart, not only finding compassion for my own grief but helping my family members in the midst of theirs.

None of this is to brag, but it’s to show the power of simple resilience. I’m not greater than any other human, but resilience has helped me deal with these difficulties, as I’m sure it has for many of you.

It’s such a powerful thing, resilience … but how do you develop it? Because make no mistake: it’s a set of skills, a set of capacities, that can be developed over time. Some people might be born with greater tendencies toward resiliency, but we can all get better at it.

I’m going to offer a set of practices that you can work on, if you want to develop extraordinary resiliency. I hope you find them useful.

The Resiliency Practices

Whenever you face stress, difficulty, grief, pain, struggle, setbacks, failure, disappointment, frustration, anger, uncertainty (big ones or little ones, throughout the day) … see it as an opportunity to practice.

Here are some practices you can try:

1. Notice what you’re not seeing. When you’re frustrated, disappointed, bored, etc. … it’s because you’re only seeing the lack. Or the “bad” side of things. That means you’re blinding yourself to the whole picture — in this moment of someone being rude to you, do you notice that they are in pain, that they have a tender and loving heart inside of them, that they are in fact a gift? Do you notice your own aliveness, the sunlight around you, the wonderful sounds of the day that surround you? In each moment, there are amazing things to notice, and when we’re focused only on the parts we don’t like, we’re stuck in tunnel vision, and therefore missing out on the greatness of life. What is the amazingness you’re not seeing?
2. Tap into something bigger than yourself. As a father, it’s amazing what I’ll go through to help my kids. I’ll put myself through incredible discomfort, if it means protecting them, helping them somehow — and it doesn’t even feel like a sacrifice. Anyone who serves others knows this feeling: when you are doing something for others, the discomfort is just an afterthought. So when you’re facing difficulty, if you can connect your task to the something bigger than yourself, serving others and not just yourself … the diffiulty becomes much more insignificant. In this way, every difficulty can be seen as “no big deal.”
3. Practice compassion (for yourself & others). When you’re in pain, just notice that. Wish yourself peace and happiness, as you would wish peace from the pain for a loved one. If someone in front of you is angry, irritated … wish them peace from the anger as well. Every difficult interaction is an opportunity to practice this key skill.
4. See it as a part of growth. When you face a setback, it’s not the end of the road … it’s a part of it. No journey worth traveling is free of discomfort and setbacks. If we want to grow, we have to go through challenges. So each challenge you face — instead of thinking negatively about it, see the beauty of it being a part of your personal growth.
5. Practice flexibility & adapting. Rigidity only brings about frustration. If we can learn to be flexible, and adapt to any changing situation, we’ll not only be happier, we’ll be more successful at whatever we’re trying to do. So when you’re in the middle of a challenging situation, ask yourself how you can practice being more flexible. When you’ve been hit with a failure, ask yourself how you can adapt and get better so that you’re more likely to succeed in the next attempt. See it as an opportunity to get better, to become more flexible in your thinking, to be ever-adaptable and never-extinguishable.
6. Find the deliciousness, delight, joy. Every uncerain situation, every discomfort and difficulty … contains within it some kind of wonder, some kind of deliciousness, some kind of delight and joy. We just need to find it. Open our hearts up to it. Stop trying to reject it, and instead see it for the first time, as a small child might, and see the wonder that is this moment in life.
7. See everything as a teacher. Every single thing that comes before you is your teacher. You can reject the lesson and see it as something you don’t want, or you can open your mind to it and figure out how this situation, this person, this setback, is your teacher. Which of the above lessons is it teaching you? Which of the above practices is it giving you a opportunity to get better at? Figure that out, and you’ve unlocked a chance to get better at resilience.

In each moment, you have a choice. Do you want to succumb to your difficulties, or wish they would all evaporate … or do you want to be made stronger by them, learn from them, open up to their brilliant lessons and delightful experiences?

In each moment, you have the opportunity to practice. It’s not easy. But it’s the path of resilience and love.

BY LEO BABAUTA

5 Tiny Steps to Quit Being Such a Jerk

I was having a talk with my son yesterday, sitting him down and talking about consideration — how to think of others, and not just yourself. It’s a key concept that makes such a difference in life that it’s one of the few things I really want to teach my children.

It’s so sad because I see so many inconsiderate people around me every day — people who only care about what they want and don’t think of others, don’t see things from the perspective of other people. People who cut you off in traffic, who cut in front of you in line, who say rude things, who take your parking spot, who hurt your feelings. I try to brush these things off, but it’s unfortunate that so many people are so inconsiderate.

Thing is, they aren’t trying to be mean or rude … they just aren’t thinking of others. And I don’t think they’re aware of this. I think they think they’re being perfectly fine, and don’t think of themselves as inconsiderate.

I’m a good example — I think I’m fairly considerate, but there are plenty of times when I’m inconsiderate without realizing it. I realized, when I was having that talk with my son, that I had been rude to someone yesterday. Then I started to think of all the ways I’d been selfish recently. And I realized that I’m not as perfect as I think.

You probably aren’t either. While you might not be the “jerk” I called you in the title of this post, there are very few of us who are considerate without fail. I have an uncle who is the most considerate person I know — he’s one of my role models — and he can skip this post. The rest of us need it, I think.

What are the consequences of being more considerate? To start with, I think it feels good — we like being kind to others, doing nice things for others, making others happier. Second, it makes our lives better in so many other ways — people will treat you with more respect and kindness, will like you better, will be more likely to want to work with you and be with you. Third, it makes society better — when we all treat each other with consideration, we live better together, we work better together, we cooperate. Sure, there will always be jerks, but if we can make them a minority, society will be better overall.

At the very least, you can say with surety that you’re not one of those jerks. And that’s a good thing, right?

1. Admit you’re not perfect. I’ll be the first to say it: I’m far from perfect. I’m a jerk sometimes. I’m inconsiderate and selfish sometimes. And I don’t usually realize it until later. If you think you’re not a jerk, at least admit that you are inconsiderate at times. Try to recall those times. Think of how you could have acted differently. This is the first step, and it’s an important one.

2. Place yourself in the shoes of others. This is the key to consideration — to consider the feelings and needs and wants of others, to see things from their perspective. Try to think of what others are going through, what you’d want if you were in their situation. This isn’t always easy, but it gets easier with practice. And even if you’re not correct in your assumptions about what another person wants or feels or is going through … the important thing is that you’re making the effort, and it’s a transformative one.

3. Act with compassion and kindness. If someone else is suffering, even a little, try to ease their suffering in some way. Treat others with kindness, respect, love. Do it in little ways — a smile, a kind word, a thank you, a hug, doing something to ease their burden, going out of your way to be courteous, holding open a door, letting another person in front of you in traffic. Little tiny acts will make a huge difference.

4. Practice, practice. Old habits die hard, especially ones like this where we rarely think about it. Keep it in the forefront of your consciousness by making every interaction with another person a chance to practice being considerate. Every time you talk to someone, email someone, see someone on the street … make this an opportunity to practice consideration. Practice, and practice some more. That’s the only way you get good at anything.

5. Do 5 little things. As a way to practice, make it a goal to do 5 little things each day that are kind and considerate. It doesn’t matter what those things are — cooking something for a family member, tidying up a bit, sending a nice thank-you email to a co-worker, lending a hand to a friend, being there to listen to someone’s problems … I’m sure you could think of a thousand little things. Do this every day, and you’ll soon be a pro.

BY LEO BABAUTA

Be Authentic - Love Who You Are, Flaws and All

You are one of a kind! No two people in the entire world are the same. Both good and bad past life experiences have made you who you are today. The good times have helped you learn happiness, compassion, and love. Even the difficult and grueling times in life have taught you strength and perseverance. Be authentic to you and honor your self as the unique being that you are, flaws and all.

So often, we tend to compare ourselves to others and this is so unfair. By comparing yourself to others, you do yourself a huge injustice because again, no two people are the same. Only you know the life you've lived and the lessons in life that you've learned. No other person on this earth has lived and learned, or are still learning to follow their path exactly the way you are today.

As an example, in the car dealership world, you can pick up a new car for the same price as everyone else. There's not much wiggle room when there are about a hundred of them on the lot with only one or two tiny differences. But if you're looking for a used car, you can be certain that you're going to pay top dollar because there are no two used cars that are the same and the dealership knows this. They play on that so that you love this car and when there are no others like it here or down the road, you'll pay more for it. You as a person are no different. Treasure yourself, your uniqueness and even your flaws, because they too, are what make you who you are.

Be authentic and accepting of yourself, flaws and all. If there's something you truly want to change, then do it, but love and accept yourself in the process. No one has lived what you lived, so you've earned it! Truly, each of us is our own worst critic and it certainly takes courage and self-respect to accept ourselves completely. See your value, take responsibility for who you are, the way you live, and your own happiness!

Nicole Lawler will show you different healing modalities for your mind, body & spirit. At the end of the day, it's all about loving and healing YOU!

By Nicole Lawler

Http://LifeHealingEnergy.com

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