A Mantra for Dealing with Life’s Annoyances

As I write this, I’ve come down with a bug (strep throat — yay!), right in the middle of travel, sleep difficulties, big life changes, a workload that’s piling high, and more.

As you might imagine, there is a way of seeing all of this as stressful, annoying, difficult, and just generally sucky. I don’t see it that way at all, but it’s easy to get into that mindset, which means it all becomes that much more stressful.

When you’re in a state of stress or tiredness, it can also be easy to get annoyed at little things — the dog barking or construction noises outside, people making rude comments or being late (yet again), tech problems and the state of national politics. Yep, all of these and much more can be super annoying.

But being constantly annoyed isn’t good for us. We not only become less happy, we are less pleasant to our loved ones, less open to the world, less devoted to what we care most about, less focused on the important work we’re doing in the world.

Maybe we should get people to change, to be less frustrating, more on time for meetings, less inconsiderate! Yes, helping people to make positive changes is a good idea, but waiting to be happy until everyone and everything changes to the way you want them to be is a good way to be constantly unhappy and even more frustrated.

Let’s not wait until the world changes to be happy.

Instead, let’s shift. I’m going to give you a simple practice, and a mantra, for dealing with every single annoyance on Earth.

First, a Simple Practice

When you’re annoyed, it’s a little pain. OK, sometimes a big pain. It’s a hurt that you react to with irritation, frustration or anger.

The first step is to deal with the hurt. And a simple loving-kindness meditation (as corny as that might sound to some of you) is a good healing treatment.

There are longer versions of this meditation, but here’s a simple version:

1. Sit still for a moment. Notice the irritation or hurt. Notice how it feels, and stay with that sensation for a moment.
2. Now, with a feeling of genuine kindness and love, say to yourself, “May I find an end to my pain. May I be happy.” Try to genuinely wish this for yourself.
3. Repeat it several times, until it feels very genuine. Feel free to repeat it a few more times if it helps.

If you have a hard time wishing yourself happiness, start with someone who you love unconditionally — picture them in your mind, and send them a genuine wish: “May they find an end to their suffering. May they be happy.” Remember how this genuine wish feels, and then send it to yourself in the same way.

This can take just 10 seconds. And it helps you feel a little less difficulty.

Where Our Annoyance Comes From

Before we get into the mantra, it’s important to understand why we get annoyed in the first place. I know, it’s the other person’s fault, right? They’re being rude, inconsiderate, late, or just plain wrong.

But actually, annoyances come from a way of interpreting the world. And it’s not helpful to us most of the time.

Here’s an example: this person is always late. This fact isn’t a problem in itself — it’s a problem because we interpret it that way.

The annoyance comes from a way of seeing this situation: “Their being late is inconsiderate! Why don’t they think of how it’s affecting me? Why can’t they take just a little time to make sure they show up on time, as I have?”

But this way of seeing the situation has a deeper layer that applies to other situations: “When people/the world aren’t how I want them to be, it’s annoying/frustrating/painful/sucky.”

When people don’t act the way we want them to act, we find this painful and frustrating. When the world isn’t the way we want it, we find it frustrating.

As you can imagine, this isn’t helpful. It makes us less happy, it makes us like people (and the world around us) less, it hurts our relationships and our work in the world.

So what we need is a new filter. We’ll accomplish that with a mantra.

A Mantra to Shift the World

The filter of how we see things, explained above, is not helpful. So we need a new one.

A filter of reality I’ve found useful is: “I celebrate the gorgeous divinity in every person and every thing.”

Imagine that — every single person is filled with a gorgeous divinity. The entire world, every object and every being, is filled with the same divinity.

What do I mean by “divinity”? If you’re religious, you already have a meaning of that word, but if you’re not, it can still have a powerful meaning. Even if you’re an atheist, you can see a godlike quality in the trees, the wind, the people you love, cherry blossoms falling to the ground, light filtering into your home in the early morning. There is a divinity in everything around us, if we choose to see and appreciate it.

So create a mantra that reminds you of that fact. Maybe, “Everything is filled with an awesome divinity! Hell yeah!”

Repeat the mantra to yourself during the day. Yell it out if you find a good space to do that. Say it with the enthusiasm it deserves!

The world around us, and every being in it, is filled with a gorgeous divinity that we can celebrate, fall in love with, moment to moment.

Even the rude people — it can be more of a challenge seeing the divinity in someone when they’re being an ass, but you’re up to the challenge. See the good heart underneath their reactiveness, the pain underneath their anger, the years of difficulty and stress that have resulted in them being who they are. And then see the beauty in their humanity, the sweetness in the connection between the two of you.

Life shifts when you practice this mantra. People become incredible beings filled with the wonders of the cosmos. Your heart becomes filled with joy and gratitude, and their being late becomes an opportunity to see what a gift it is that they are here with you at all.

BY LEO BABAUTA

Mastering Your Mind Power: What Is Your Why?

 In the articles I have written on this subject, I have shared some information with you primarily about how your mind works, how tremendously powerful it is, and the number barrier to mastering your mind power, namely, your self-image. I close each article with a statement of my belief in you because of the great power you possess in your mind.

Before discussing your WHY, let us first take a look at a few WHAT questions. WHAT kind of legacy do you wish to leave your children and other loved ones; a legacy of wealth or a pile of debt? WHAT kind of financial and other support to you want to provide to your significant others to help them live the lives they desire and to help them reach their full potential? In WHAT way or ways do you want to leave the world a better place than it was before you came?

Here now is the WHY question for you. There are probably several answers to this question. If you do not nail down at least one well-thought-out answer, however, there is a strong possibility that you will not have the staying power necessary to stick with your dreams and goals, whatever they may be. Challenges are certain to appear. The old self-image is sure to unleash its arsenal of habits upon you in an effort to stay in control.

The question is what is your WHY? WHY do you want to have financial abundance; to make more money or save more money? WHY do you want to live your dream; have the freedom to do what you want to do when you want to do it? WHY do you want to develop more of your talents or skills; to feel competent in more areas of your life? Why do you want to be honored and respected; to gain praise, popularity and admiration? WHY do you want to gain control over your life by mastering your mind power; to be the captain of ship of your own soul, to guide your own life?

Your quest for your WHY might produce more than one answer. Multiple answers, in this case, do not produce a hindrance. In fact, where your WHY is concerned, there is strength in numbers (up to a point). If you establish more than one WHY I strongly recommend you find a method to prioritize them. Your strongest WHY is the one that provides the strongest motivational drive to support your efforts.

Determining your WHY is not something you should do quickly or haphazardly. You should spend a few days, weeks or even months if necessary to be sure to get it right. You want to find the emotional energy that will sustain you through the challenging experiences.

This I know for sure. You can claim or reclaim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

by Harold L. Lowe
Article source;http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/Mastering-Your-Mind-Power--What-Is-Your-Why-/152377
Harold L Lowe retired at age 62 when his six-figure income position was eliminated. He now wishes to share some of what he has learned since then and some of his experiences as well through articles. He is now studying The New Think And Grow Rich with the author, Ted Ciuba, a founding member of the World Internet Summit. To Claim A FREE Copy Of The Book That Inspired The Movie/DVD/Book, The Secret, Go To:  Mind Power

The 6 Habits That Lead To Happiness 

 So often we count what is missing from our lives, focusing on what is not there. 

In doing this, we create a form of "negative hallucination," a state of mind that blinds us to so much of what is actually there -- a really self-defeating way to pass our days.

By dwelling on what we lack we create feelings of deprivation and unhappiness that can eclipse the spirit and block our ability to experience the simple joy of being alive.

If we really do want to live a more fulfilled and joyful life then cultivating a sense of gratitude is a key ingredient. Gratitude for all that we have, for all that is there, brings with it a deeper appreciation of life itself.

Research has shown (1) that gratitude is an essential element in our ability to experience genuine happiness. 

Change Your Mind

Not only that, but expressing gratitude can help change your mind in a positive way, and actually have a physical affect on the brain, changing it in positive ways.

Gratefulness and life satisfaction just seem to go hand in hand (2).

Here are six habits that grateful people cultivate. They are the keys to increased joy and contentment.

1. Grateful people do not expect life to give them every single thing they desire. They live with the understanding that no one can have everything they want, when they want it, and that this is okay. They are appreciative of all they have, and are less likely to envy what others have.

2. Grateful people take nothing for granted. They do their best to see the positive outcome in situations and experiences and are not afraid to work towards those outcomes. They do not take the good things in their lives for granted.

3. Grateful people work with things as they are. They do not insist that conditions be exactly right before they can be happy. Appreciative of all they have, they accept life's shortcomings, while working on their own, and welcome joy and happiness into their lives unconditionally.

4. Grateful people realize that they cannot have the sunshine without also having the rain. They understand that no one can live in a perpetual state of happiness, accepting that difficult times will sometimes come. They have learned to respect and be grateful for life in all its diversity.

5. Grateful people cultivate flexible thinking habits. They have learned to adapt to life circumstances and can adjust their thinking to the situation. Gratitude and rigid thinking make a poor fit, and so they make allowances for other people's perceptions and opinions.

6. Grateful people do not define themselves by their regrets. They appreciate their abilities while working to improve them, accepting responsibility for their actions while working towards their positive future. Cultivate these habits of gratitude and you really will reap some wonderful benefits.

What are you waiting for? Why not start right now!
by Peter James Field
http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/The-6-Habits-That-Lead-To-Happiness/399268
References:

(1) Emmons, R. A. (2007). THANKS! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. New York: Houghton Mifflin Company.
(2) Watkins, P. C., Grimm, D. L., & Kolts, R. (2004). Counting your blessings: Positive memories among grateful persons. Current Psychology: Developmental, Learning, Personality, Social, 23, 52-67.--
Peter Field is a UK registered psychotherapist and London and Birmingham hypnotherapist. He is a Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, and a Fellow of the Royal Society of Health. For more information, please visit his Birmingham hypnotherapy website.

Article Source: http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/The-6-Habits-That-Lead-To-Happiness/399268

Mastering Your Mind Power: Are You Ready?

 Often when I ask people what do they really want to be different in their lives, I am surprised to hear them respond that they do not know what they want to be different. If I press them a bit, most come up with general answers like they would like to have more money, a better job, or a long-delayed vacation. When I then ask them why they think they do not have those things, they generally have a list of reasons. The number one reason is usually a lack of money.

Once the conversation turns away from what it is that they want to general topics, it is usually not very long before statements of negativity related to their circumstances creep into their comments. They seem to sense that I am picking up on the negative comments, and they will eventually say something that indicates that is just how the world is for them. For them, their life circumstances are all messed up. Yet, they do not know what it is that would clear up the mess for them.

Even though it causes me to pause briefly when people tell me they do not know what they want, I truly do understand. Most people get discouraged from seeking ways to fulfill their dreams and desires very early in life. Their dream-seeking is quickly turned into job-seeking by the apparent realities they observe in their environment. Once people get trapped in a paycheck to paycheck job situation, the demands of the job and of life, in general, make it less and less likely that they will allow themselves to be exposed to different life options.

Make no mistake about it, changing the course of your life is not to be taken lightly. My question to you is are you truly ready to do it? The good news is countless other people have made such a change. They took the same basic steps and used the same basic equipment that is at your disposal right now. They had to master their mind power. They had to learn how to change most of their habitual thinking patterns and align them with their new goals. In essence, they had to rebuild their self-images to conform to the new realities they decided to produce in their lives.

If you are ready to begin mastering your mind power but are in need of a starting point, here is an exercise that I found to be most helpful to me. Set aside some quiet time for your self, take out a few blank sheets of paper, draw a line down the middle of a sheet or sheets and begin listing on the left side of the page any beliefs, situations, habits, and conditions that you can think of that you do not want in your life anymore.

Be honest with yourself. This list is for your eyes only. You have had more than enough input or advice from others during your life. This exercise is about you working on your own individual life no matter how uncomfortable it might feel initially.

This I know for sure. You can claim or reclaim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

by Harold L. Lowe

Harold L Lowe retired at age 62 when his six-figure income position was eliminated. He now wishes to share some of what he has learned since then and some of his experiences as well through articles. He is now studying The New Think And Grow Rich with the author, Ted Ciuba, a founding member of the World Internet Summit. To Claim A FREE Copy Of The Book That Inspired The Movie/DVD/Book, The Secret, Go To:  Mind Power

Article Source: http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/Mastering-Your-Mind-Power--Are-You-Ready-/155287

Motivational Speaker - Overcoming Depression 

 You'll be given a taste of science right now that will grant you the keys to any emotional state that you want to create or undo. I am a motivational speaker on success, typically on financial success, but I come from a neurological angle. This information is the key to any achievement. After all, success is not money, but achievement.

We're going to roll fast.

All of our actions are ultimately an end result of our beliefs. We are commanded by our beliefs and habits. Our environment supports these. The three together make up our CONDITIONING. We only do 4 percent what we desire to do and 96 percent what we're CONDITIONED to do. Beliefs are neural networks on the subconscious mind. They are pathways that we follow...pathways of instruction. The subconscious mind is responsible for 96-98 percent of our actions and perceptions. We don't see with our eyes, rather our eyes only allow light to enter just like our ears allow sound to enter. It is our brain that deciphers what that data actually is. So we see with our brains. In a nutshell, here's how it works. It is important that you know this.

We have something call the Reticular Activating System(RAS) that works like a filter between the communication of our conscious and our subconscious mind. It is like a search engine that is looking for any and every bit of data that is relevant to your beliefs. Whatever it finds that is relevant, it sends it over to our conscious mind and only then do we consciously recognize it. An example would be how you may buy a new car, and suddenly you're noticing every car on the road that's like yours. It's not that those cars were not there before, you just weren't tuned to see them.

There is also another mechanism in the brain called the PSYCHO-CYBERNETIC MECHANISM(PCM). This mechanism is responsible for making sure that we are always staying within the boundaries of our beliefs. If we step out, it sends a chemical into the body that causes doubt, fear, and anxiety. This in turn, causes us to back away from whatever we're doing, and get back to what the brain thinks is SAFETY. It determines what "safety" is by how often we travel that path or entertain that belief.

So now, let's put this into an example. You believe you're in a state of depression (or whatever it may be). Your brain knows what you think depression is so it gives your RAS instruction to let you recognize everything that supports that belief. The articles, the shows, the songs, the people, etc. You'll be reading of symptoms of depression, noticing that you have exactly that. Everything that is pro-happiness or opposing to depression, spits out because your RAS thinks it's not what you're looking for.

Somehow you take the next step and force yourself to read a book that just seems like it will help. The hope you find in the book hits a part of your conscious mind, causing you to feel for a moment, that you can overcome this. It gets placed into your declarative memory system, and your brain sends a chemical called dopamine into your body which makes you feel happy and pumped that you will change. However, the declarative memory system(explicit memory system) is not the part of the brain that makes changes. The objective is to get this over to the implicit memory system...the embedded beliefs.

By changing the beliefs, we change the things that the RAS is going to let you consciously recognize. We also reset what the PCM recognizes as "safe" so that it stops juicing you with doubts and fears that keep you from achieving.

The short version of changing your beliefs is summed up as, "What you constantly hold in your mind and focus on with emotion, gets impressed onto your subconscious mind." In turn, if you still focus on your current beliefs, you are still feeding them. So your objective is to focus on things that are pro-happiness for you...things that you would only dream of doing. It will be difficult. It won't be painful, just difficult because it will take your full commitment. People don't succeed because they do not determine to do WHATEVER it takes to change.

It's up to you. But it's a world of healing and abundance. And it's yours for the believing.

by Dennis Andrew

Dennis Andrew
NNOS Studios Motivational Speakers Division
Take a look at this motivational presentation. Motivational Speaker Ohio
NNOS Studios Success Coaching.
Motivational Speaker request form. Motivational Speakers Ohio.

Article Source: http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/Motivational-Speaker---Overcoming-Depression/239813

Mastering Your Mind Power: You Are Responsible!

 Here are three factors for you to consider. First, everyone is being moved to some goal by his or her subconscious mind. That is not to say that everyone is CONSCIOUSLY directing her or his subconscious mind toward a goal. In fact, in most cases, your subconscious mind is directing the person to goals that were placed in his or her mind by someone else. Your subconscious mind does not care. Its function is to bring into your physical experience whatever thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and mental images you consistently hold in your mind.

Second, once your subconscious mind accepts your goals, it will find ways and means to achieve them, period. Third, it is imperative that you consciously guide your subconscious mind toward the proper goals through programming or reprogramming it.

You are responsible for your life. Whether it is your health, your wealth, your happiness, and subsequently the kind of life you live, you are responsible. All too often, the road most of us take is to pass our responsibility on to others.

Look not to paternalistic Corporate and Public Sector America to provide you with a job that will take care of you financially, including retirement; and to make it possible for you to live the American Dream. Stop making doctors, pills, and potions responsible for your health. No longer make your significant other responsible for making you happy. Quit making preachers, rabbis, priests, and other persons responsible for the care of your soul.

Do not allow others to convince you to believe that your financial life is either in ruins or is heading toward disaster. Sure, the newspapers, news magazines, radio and television news shows, and perhaps your own financial statements may all seem to present evidence that this is so, but that kind of thinking does not HAVE to be reality for you...unless you choose to accept it.

Remember, Napoleon Hill (Think And Grow Rich) taught that EVERY ADVERSITY CARRIES WITHIN IT THE SEED OF AN EQUIVALENT OR GREATER BENEFIT! If you have not already done so, why not hold that quote consistently in your conscious mind until it sinks into the depths of your subconscious mind. Include with the quote an affirmation that your subconscious mind is even now bringing a revelation of that equal or greater benefit to you.

From the day you were born to the day you die, your subconscious mind is constantly being programmed or reprogrammed. Sometimes it is being programmed correctly, but most of the time it is being programmed incorrectly. I do not intend to imply that the techniques used for the programming are incorrect, but that the programming is implanting goals that are attracting more of what you do not wish to experience into your life instead of what you do wish to experience.

It is your responsibility to take control by mastering your mind power and programming your subconscious with goals that bring your desires into your life rather than their counterparts. No one else can or will do it for you.

It is vitally important that you take that responsibility seriously...if you desire a better life. The alternative is to do nothing; and of course, there are plenty of people in and around your life who will happily continue to do the (incorrect) programming for you.

This I know for sure. You can claim or re-claim control of your own mind power. You are the most miraculous of all living beings on earth. You are the owner of a mind that is so stupendous, that as you truly begin mastering your mind power and consciously using it, there is no dream that you can dream that you cannot achieve.

by Harold L. Lowe



Harold L Lowe retired at age 62 when his six-figure income position was eliminated. He now wishes to share some of what he has learned since then and some of his experiences as well through articles. He is now studying The New Think And Grow Rich with the author, Ted Ciuba, a founding member of the World Internet Summit. To Claim A FREE Copy Of The Book That Inspired The Movie/DVD/Book, The Secret, Go To: Power Of The Mind

Article Source: http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/Mastering-Your-Mind-Power--You-Are-Responsible-/180405

The 6 Habits That Lead To Happiness

 So often we count what is missing from our lives, focusing on what is not there. 

In doing this, we create a form of "negative hallucination," a state of mind that blinds us to so much of what is actually there -- a really self-defeating way to pass our days.

By dwelling on what we lack we create feelings of deprivation and unhappiness that can eclipse the spirit and block our ability to experience the simple joy of being alive.

If we really do want to live a more fulfilled and joyful life then cultivating a sense of gratitude is a key ingredient. Gratitude for all that we have, for all that is there, brings with it a deeper appreciation of life itself.

Research has shown (1) that gratitude is an essential element in our ability to experience genuine happiness. 

Change Your Mind

Not only that, but expressing gratitude can help change your mind in a positive way, and actually have a physical effect on the brain, changing it in positive ways.

, and life satisfaction just seems to go hand in hand (2).

Here are six habits that grateful people cultivate. They are the keys to increased joy and contentment.

1. Grateful people do not expect life to give them every single thing they desire. They live with the understanding that no one can have everything they want when they want it, and that this is okay. They are appreciative of all they have and are less likely to envy what others have.

2. Grateful people take nothing for granted. They do their best to see the positive outcome in situations and experiences and are not afraid to work towards those outcomes. They do not take the good things in their lives for granted.

3. Grateful people work with things as they are. They do not insist that conditions be exactly right before they can be happy. Appreciative of all they have, they accept life's shortcomings, while working on their own, and welcome joy and happiness into their lives unconditionally.

4. Grateful people realize that they cannot have the sunshine without also having the rain. They understand that no one can live in a perpetual state of happiness, accepting that difficult times will sometimes come. They have learned to respect and be grateful for life in all its diversity.

5. Grateful people cultivate flexible thinking habits. They have learned to adapt to life circumstances and can adjust their thinking to the situation. Gratitude and rigid thinking make a poor fit, and so they make allowances for other people's perceptions and opinions.

6. Grateful people do not define themselves by their regrets. They appreciate their abilities while working to improve them, accepting responsibility for their actions while working towards their positive future. Cultivate these habits of gratitude and you really will reap some wonderful benefits.

What are you waiting for? Why not start right now!

by Peter James Field

References:

(1) Emmons, R. A. (2007). THANKS! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. New York: Houghton Mifflin Company.

(2) Watkins, P. C., Grimm, D. L., & Kolts, R. (2004). Counting your blessings: Positive memories among grateful persons. Current Psychology: Developmental, Learning, Personality, Social, 23, 52-67.--

Peter Field is a UK registered psychotherapist and London and Birmingham hypnotherapist. He is a Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy, and a Fellow of the Royal Society of Health. For more information, please visit his Birmingham hypnotherapy website.

Article Source: http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/The-6-Habits-That-Lead-To-Happiness/399268

15 Habits of Extremely Happy People

Happiness is every person's goal in life. Even though most people have no idea of what to do to be happy and what happiness really adds up to. We all strive to stay relevant to our goal.

1. They are not self-absorbed

This is a person that generally does not make everything about themselves. They are open-minded and allow their thinking to go beyond their heads. They welcome other people's suggestions and criticism. They don't take other people's opinions about them personally. They build their character based on well-thought out choices and opinions. They positively accept correction from people and also appreciate other people's way of life.

2. They are appreciative and contented

Being contented and showing appreciation is a character trait that most people don't have. They take a lot of things for granted not knowing they deprive themselves of the small joys of the world. Being able to appreciate someone else for how they have dressed, made their hair, their new pair of shoes, being able to see the other person laugh and smile and having contributed to them having a nice day is even a greater way of being happy.

3. Making alone time and meditating

This is a vital part of being happy and knowing yourself better. Having alone time helps one check on their character, know what makes them happy, sad, set life goals, etc. When meditating, one learns what to focus on with life, what makes their life better and how to better themselves. Making sure to have some alone time also keeps someone in a peaceful mood and helps them to face their fears.

4. Doing things that make them genuinely happy

Being happy is a full-time job, so each of us needs to find what genuinely makes them happy and avoid hypocrisy. Doing what genuinely makes you happy will help someone from harboring hate and toxic feelings caused by forced happiness and pretending to be happy for everyone else's sake. Most people have an illusion of happiness and they don't try and find genuine happiness or what activities genuinely make them happy. So they end up feeling unfulfilled and sad. So, finding genuine activities that make you happy is a great step to being extremely happy.

5. Having a positive attitude towards life

Life brings a lot of challenges with it and the sad part is life challenges are inevitable. People have to find better ways to cope with that. People with positive mindsets have it easier when difficulties come to their path. They see problems as challenges that they have to face to pass a given stage and enable them to relate to things in a better way. Those who are afraid of challenges will always feel condemned and sad because they never know their way through.

6. Being at peace with yourself, friends, associates, and family

You should try, as much as possible, to be at peace with those close to you. These include friends, family, work associates and, even your partner. These people play a major role, what they do can directly affect.

7. Enjoying every moment

Most people take for granted moments spent with other people; either playing, out for coffee or chilling in the house and even time spent with their family. They fail to maximize the fun they would have had during these times. This is also a way of harboring regrets and unfulfilled moments that people have. Hence having bad days and tough times.

8. Respecting yourself and not settling for mediocre

People who know what they want in life don't settle. They know their purpose, set goals and work towards them. Despite the challenges they might face on their way to success, such people don't give up. They are grounded and they don't settle for mediocre results that are unfulfilling to them. They know their self-worth and they work at achieving what they set their minds to.

9. Staying healthy

Health is a major contributor to happiness. This entails having good eating habits. Make sure you have a balanced diet, take lots of water and make sure your meals are hygienically prepared. This will help you avoid sicknesses and stay healthy. Exercises also helps people stay in shape and avoid diseases caused by unhealthy eating, it also helps someone unwind and feel relaxed. Ensuring one is clean by bathing, putting on makeup, perfume. This helps boost someone's confidence and makes them feel good about themselves.

10. Rewarding and feeling good about yourself

Everyone loves gifts and being appreciated. Most people forget that you can buy yourself gifts, appreciate yourself and feel good about it. We all have our shameful struggles or our bad habits that we aren't proud of. When you stop a bad habit and no one notices, treat yourself out, buy yourself some new belt. People might not know how big a deal the situation was or how much you struggled with it. Awarding, and giving yourself credit for it, is not a bad thing. This will help you see yourself as an achiever and will also boost your self-confidence.

11. Surrounding yourself with people and things that bring positivity in your life

The people and things someone surrounds themselves with say a lot about them. They highly contribute to someone's character and thinking. If you surround yourself with people who are always about the positive side of life and encouraging one another to be better versions of themselves, then there are high chances that that is the kind of person you will be. This character building technique is important in our lives. You should be careful who you relate with because they influence you in a wonderful way.

12. Treating people with kindness, respect and being happy for them

One can create happiness by seeing other people happy. This is also a way of trying to live a fulfilling life. Help people out when you can, reach out to them when they need your help. Visit the patients in hospitals, help out in orphanages, give food to the homeless. You feel fulfilled when you are able to make someone smile and be happy. Treat your friend who delivered a presentation. These are some of the ways in which being kind and helpful to others can bring to you happiness through these simple gestures.

13. Not comparing yourself with other people

Comparing yourself, your personal achievements and successes with those of other people is not a healthy way of being happy. Most people forget that everyone is totally different from others and we all have different struggles in life. Comparing yourself to other people is an injustice to yourself and you end up degrading yourself and end up leading some sad, unmeaningful life. You should try and better yourself from what you have. You should not consider another person's success makes them better than you for any reason. Focus on bettering yourself on what makes you happy and fulfilled. Make your own path to achieving your goals and dreams.

14. Have life-improving goals

Most people settle for what they are offered even when deep down they know it is not what they want or deserve. This ends up making them feel less of a person or not fully recognized by people. Make sure you set goals that help you become a better person. Either mentally, financially or physically. Strive to make the best out of yourself and when faced with challenges don't despair. Make the best out of your worst experiences.

15. Allowing yourself to be human

We focus so much on other people and make considerations for them rather than for ourselves. We forget that we also hurt, feel, cry and make mistakes. A lot of people are so focused on their mistakes and setbacks, they forget that they also fall, fail and make mistakes, which is okay. They should accept that mistakes are inevitable, and you can always make the best out of them and learn something. Forgive yourself as often as possible, accept your faults and apologize when needed, or when you know you are at fault. Don't forget, you are just as human as everyone else and, just like them, you also can make mistakes and be at fault.

Conclusion

We are all entitled to being happy and finding fulfillment in whatever we decide to do with our lives. People should realize their happiness solely depends on their choices and perception about life and what it brings with it.

By Bob Tom 

BiggieTips - Tips and Tricks for your daily life ( http://www.biggietips.com )

We are dedicated to BIG TIPS to help you get things done more efficiently. You will master how to do everything in a bigger way and live sieTips

* eBook http://www.biggietips.com/ebook/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Bob_Tom/2362899

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9975274marter. Topics include Home, Health, Lifestyle, Travel, Technology, Entertainment, Business and Video.

6 Healthy Habits That Will Change Your Life

13 Things to Avoid When Changing Habits 

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.” – Mark Twain

I’ve learned a lot about changing habits in the last 2 1/2 years, from quitting smoking to taking up running and GTD and vegetarianism and waking early and all that. I could go on, of course, but you get the picture.

I’ve not only learned a lot about what you should do when changing habits, but through my failures, I’ve learned about what not to do.

And trust me, I’ve had lots of failures.

I’ve found failures to be just as important as successes when trying to learn how to improve, especially when it comes to changing habits. It’s not an easy task, and I’m sure every one of us has tried to quit something and failed, or tried to do something positive and failed. The key, of course, is to not just give up after failure, but to reset your resolve, to analyze what went wrong and why, and to plan to overcome those obstacles the next time.

I’ve done that, with one failure after another, and would like to share a few things I’ve learned to avoid when trying to change a habit.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Ryun

1. Taking on two or more habits at once. We’ve all done this. I want to learn to wake early, and to start running, and to eat healthier, and to be more organized, and to write every day … all at once! But no matter how much enthusiasm we have for all of these goals, taking on even just two habits at once is setting ourselves up for failure. I’ve tried it. Many times. It’s certainly possible, but it’s not for those of us who have difficulty changing habits (I think that’s nearly all of us). I would estimate that you triple or even quadruple your chances of success if you focus on one habit at a time, for one month at a time. Devote all of your energy to that habit change, and once it’s on autopilot, move on to the next one. Knock ’em down one at a time.
2. Not committing a plan to paper. It’s easy to wake up, jump out of bed, and yell out loud, “I’m going to make a change today!” Who among us hasn’t done that? (Side note: if you don’t live alone, your housemates or family members might not appreciate all the yelling.) But just telling ourselves, whether out loud or quietly in our heads, that we’re going to change isn’t enough. You have to write down your goal. Write a start date. Write an end date (30 days is a good time frame). Write down exactly what you’re going to do. Write down how you’re going to be accountable, what your rewards are, what the obstacles are, what your triggers are. More on these below. Main thing: put it on paper and stick to the plan (don’t file the plan in your inbox, you piler you!).
3. Being half-committed. I’ve done this a few times myself: I will say, “I think I’ll quit smoking today.” Then I’ll throw away my pack of cigarettes (this should be in past-tense as I don’t smoke anymore, but I’m too lazy to go back and change the tense). Then I’ll go for as long as I can (often half a day!) and then cave in and go buy another pack. Then I feel guilty for a little while until I half commit to quit again. That doesn’t work. You have to commit Big Time. That means tell the world about it. Seriously — put it on your blog, tell your family, friends, co-workers, your butcher, the guy from your high school who you say hi to when you run into him at the grocery store and who you call “buddy” because you forgot his name. The more people, the better. Publish your entire plan. Put up a sign on your desk and refrigerator. Make a solemn promise to your child (this worked for me when quitting smoking).
   
4. Not having support. There will be times when you falter, almost invariably. Who will you turn to when you need encouragement? If you don’t have a good answer to this, you need to think it through. If you have a significant other, that’s a good choice, but have more than one supporter. Maybe your mom, your sister, your best friend, your boss. Maybe an online friend or three. Best yet, join a support group or an online forum full of people doing the same thing. Make the commitment to them, and ask them to help you when you hit rough spots. Make a promise to call them if you do. Put this in your written plan.
5. Not thinking through your motivation. In my experience, what people call discipline, I call motivation. Why are you disciplined enough to do something? Because you have the right motivation. When you lose the motivation, you lose the discipline. Before you start your habit change, think through your motivations. Why are you doing this? What will keep you going when you forget your reasons? Public commitment is a big motivator, of course, but you should have internal ones too. Write these down in your plan.
6. Not realizing the obstacles. Every habit change is a path littered with obstacles. Unfortunately, when we hit some of these, we often quit. Or we’ll try again, but hit the same obstacles again and again with the same result. Instead, think it through, and anticipate your obstacles. If you’ve failed before, think about what obstacle stopped you. If you’ve never done this habit change before, do some research and read about others who’ve succeeded and failed at it, and find out what obstacles you should expect. Then make a plan for what you’ll do when you face the obstacles. For example, I have a hard time eating in moderation when I go out. What will I do when I go out to eat? What are my strategies? I have to think these through before actually going out, because when the urge hits and you don’t have a plan, you’re too late.
7. Not logging your progress. You can change habits without keeping a log, but a log just increases your chances of success — and why wouldn’t you want to do that? Things are hard enough without using all the tools at your disposal. A log helps you succeed because it reminds you to be consistent. It keeps you aware of what you’re actually doing. It motivates you, because you want to write good things in that log. It helps keep you accountable before the people you’ve made a commitment to.
8. Having no accountability. Speaking of accountability, it’s the second half of the all-important public commitment. It’s not enough to make a big announcement on your blog and not follow through. For example, I announced my plans to get in shape earlier to all of you … but I also created a small training blog (or “tralog”) that will help keep me accountable. I report my progress daily, whether I fail or succeed. Take a look at my “tralog”. Even if you don’t have a blog, you have to set up a system where you remain accountable — maybe post your log up at your workplace, or email your progress to people, or just report to them daily in person.
9. Not knowing your triggers. This is an important key to changing habits. Every habit has at least one trigger — an event that immediately precedes the habit. Some habits have more than one trigger — for example, when I smoked, my triggers included waking up, eating, sex, stressful events, going out drinking, etc. Each time these events happened, almost without fail, I would smoke — either that, or I’d get the urge to do so. The more consistent the link to the trigger, the stronger the habit. So when you try to break a habit, you have to know all of your triggers (log it for a few days) and then create a positive habit to replace the negative habit for each of the triggers. Running, for example, replaced smoking when I got stressed. For positive habit changes, such as exercise, you need a trigger that will happen every day (or as often as you need it to happen). For exercise, you could exercise right after your morning coffee (if you have coffee at the same time every day already) or right after work, if you get off work at the same time every day. Put your triggers in your written plan, and be very very consistent with them — when the triggers happen, do the habit immediately, every single time. The less consistent you are with your triggers, the weaker the habit will be.
10. Not doing your reading. With every habit change, I find it important to read as much as possible about it, before and during. I will do my research, to find out strategies for success, potential obstacles, good tools that will help me be successful. And I’ll still read about it during the habit change — blogs, magazines, books, forums, success stories — to help motivate me.
11. Changing focus too soon. Often we’ll start a habit change, and within a week or two change our focus to something else. Well, the habit probably isn’t firmly ingrained by then, and so we’ve wasted all that time trying to form a new habit and then abandoning it before it’s on autopilot. Instead, stick to this habit for at least 30 days, and be consistent as possible.
12. Not being consistent. I’ve mentioned this a couple times now, but it should be addressed because it’s important. If you attach a habit to a trigger, you have to do the habit every single time, immediately following the trigger. If you do it sometimes and not others, you will not have a habit. Try not to miss a single time if possible, because once you miss once, you’ll be tempted to miss another time, and then a third, and then you’ve got nothing.
13. Quitting after failure. However, if you do miss once, or twice or three times, don’t give up. Just figure out why you missed, and plan to beat that obstacle next time. Then be as consistent as possible from then on out, until the habit is ingrained. If you quit, you’ve let the failure beat you. But if you reset your resolve, and learn from your failure, the failure then becomes a positive thing that helps you to succeed. As I’ve said before, I see failure as a stepping stone to success.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

BY LEO BABAUTA

Article source,https://zenhabits.net/13-things-to-avoid-when-changing-habits/

5 Tiny Steps to Quit Being Such a Jerk

I was having a talk with my son yesterday, sitting him down and talking about consideration — how to think of others, and not just yourself. It’s a key concept that makes such a difference in life that it’s one of the few things I really want to teach my children.

It’s so sad because I see so many inconsiderate people around me every day — people who only care about what they want and don’t think of others, don’t see things from the perspective of other people. People who cut you off in traffic, who cut in front of you in line, who say rude things, who take your parking spot, who hurt your feelings. I try to brush these things off, but it’s unfortunate that so many people are so inconsiderate.

Thing is, they aren’t trying to be mean or rude … they just aren’t thinking of others. And I don’t think they’re aware of this. I think they think they’re being perfectly fine, and don’t think of themselves as inconsiderate.

I’m a good example — I think I’m fairly considerate, but there are plenty of times when I’m inconsiderate without realizing it. I realized, when I was having that talk with my son, that I had been rude to someone yesterday. Then I started to think of all the ways I’d been selfish recently. And I realized that I’m not as perfect as I think.

You probably aren’t either. While you might not be the “jerk” I called you in the title of this post, there are very few of us who are considerate without fail. I have an uncle who is the most considerate person I know — he’s one of my role models — and he can skip this post. The rest of us need it, I think.

What are the consequences of being more considerate? To start with, I think it feels good — we like being kind to others, doing nice things for others, making others happier. Second, it makes our lives better in so many other ways — people will treat you with more respect and kindness, will like you better, will be more likely to want to work with you and be with you. Third, it makes society better — when we all treat each other with consideration, we live better together, we work better together, we cooperate. Sure, there will always be jerks, but if we can make them a minority, society will be better overall.

At the very least, you can say with surety that you’re not one of those jerks. And that’s a good thing, right?

1. Admit you’re not perfect. I’ll be the first to say it: I’m far from perfect. I’m a jerk sometimes. I’m inconsiderate and selfish sometimes. And I don’t usually realize it until later. If you think you’re not a jerk, at least admit that you are inconsiderate at times. Try to recall those times. Think of how you could have acted differently. This is the first step, and it’s an important one.

2. Place yourself in the shoes of others. This is the key to consideration — to consider the feelings and needs and wants of others, to see things from their perspective. Try to think of what others are going through, what you’d want if you were in their situation. This isn’t always easy, but it gets easier with practice. And even if you’re not correct in your assumptions about what another person wants or feels or is going through … the important thing is that you’re making the effort, and it’s a transformative one.

3. Act with compassion and kindness. If someone else is suffering, even a little, try to ease their suffering in some way. Treat others with kindness, respect, love. Do it in little ways — a smile, a kind word, a thank you, a hug, doing something to ease their burden, going out of your way to be courteous, holding open a door, letting another person in front of you in traffic. Little tiny acts will make a huge difference.

4. Practice, practice. Old habits die hard, especially ones like this where we rarely think about it. Keep it in the forefront of your consciousness by making every interaction with another person a chance to practice being considerate. Every time you talk to someone, email someone, see someone on the street … make this an opportunity to practice consideration. Practice, and practice some more. That’s the only way you get good at anything.

5. Do 5 little things. As a way to practice, make it a goal to do 5 little things each day that are kind and considerate. It doesn’t matter what those things are — cooking something for a family member, tidying up a bit, sending a nice thank-you email to a co-worker, lending a hand to a friend, being there to listen to someone’s problems … I’m sure you could think of a thousand little things. Do this every day, and you’ll soon be a pro.

BY LEO BABAUTA