A Mantra for Dealing with Life’s Annoyances

As I write this, I’ve come down with a bug (strep throat — yay!), right in the middle of travel, sleep difficulties, big life changes, a workload that’s piling high, and more.

As you might imagine, there is a way of seeing all of this as stressful, annoying, difficult, and just generally sucky. I don’t see it that way at all, but it’s easy to get into that mindset, which means it all becomes that much more stressful.

When you’re in a state of stress or tiredness, it can also be easy to get annoyed at little things — the dog barking or construction noises outside, people making rude comments or being late (yet again), tech problems and the state of national politics. Yep, all of these and much more can be super annoying.

But being constantly annoyed isn’t good for us. We not only become less happy, we are less pleasant to our loved ones, less open to the world, less devoted to what we care most about, less focused on the important work we’re doing in the world.

Maybe we should get people to change, to be less frustrating, more on time for meetings, less inconsiderate! Yes, helping people to make positive changes is a good idea, but waiting to be happy until everyone and everything changes to the way you want them to be is a good way to be constantly unhappy and even more frustrated.

Let’s not wait until the world changes to be happy.

Instead, let’s shift. I’m going to give you a simple practice, and a mantra, for dealing with every single annoyance on Earth.

First, a Simple Practice

When you’re annoyed, it’s a little pain. OK, sometimes a big pain. It’s a hurt that you react to with irritation, frustration or anger.

The first step is to deal with the hurt. And a simple loving-kindness meditation (as corny as that might sound to some of you) is a good healing treatment.

There are longer versions of this meditation, but here’s a simple version:

1. Sit still for a moment. Notice the irritation or hurt. Notice how it feels, and stay with that sensation for a moment.
2. Now, with a feeling of genuine kindness and love, say to yourself, “May I find an end to my pain. May I be happy.” Try to genuinely wish this for yourself.
3. Repeat it several times, until it feels very genuine. Feel free to repeat it a few more times if it helps.

If you have a hard time wishing yourself happiness, start with someone who you love unconditionally — picture them in your mind, and send them a genuine wish: “May they find an end to their suffering. May they be happy.” Remember how this genuine wish feels, and then send it to yourself in the same way.

This can take just 10 seconds. And it helps you feel a little less difficulty.

Where Our Annoyance Comes From

Before we get into the mantra, it’s important to understand why we get annoyed in the first place. I know, it’s the other person’s fault, right? They’re being rude, inconsiderate, late, or just plain wrong.

But actually, annoyances come from a way of interpreting the world. And it’s not helpful to us most of the time.

Here’s an example: this person is always late. This fact isn’t a problem in itself — it’s a problem because we interpret it that way.

The annoyance comes from a way of seeing this situation: “Their being late is inconsiderate! Why don’t they think of how it’s affecting me? Why can’t they take just a little time to make sure they show up on time, as I have?”

But this way of seeing the situation has a deeper layer that applies to other situations: “When people/the world aren’t how I want them to be, it’s annoying/frustrating/painful/sucky.”

When people don’t act the way we want them to act, we find this painful and frustrating. When the world isn’t the way we want it, we find it frustrating.

As you can imagine, this isn’t helpful. It makes us less happy, it makes us like people (and the world around us) less, it hurts our relationships and our work in the world.

So what we need is a new filter. We’ll accomplish that with a mantra.

A Mantra to Shift the World

The filter of how we see things, explained above, is not helpful. So we need a new one.

A filter of reality I’ve found useful is: “I celebrate the gorgeous divinity in every person and every thing.”

Imagine that — every single person is filled with a gorgeous divinity. The entire world, every object and every being, is filled with the same divinity.

What do I mean by “divinity”? If you’re religious, you already have a meaning of that word, but if you’re not, it can still have a powerful meaning. Even if you’re an atheist, you can see a godlike quality in the trees, the wind, the people you love, cherry blossoms falling to the ground, light filtering into your home in the early morning. There is a divinity in everything around us, if we choose to see and appreciate it.

So create a mantra that reminds you of that fact. Maybe, “Everything is filled with an awesome divinity! Hell yeah!”

Repeat the mantra to yourself during the day. Yell it out if you find a good space to do that. Say it with the enthusiasm it deserves!

The world around us, and every being in it, is filled with a gorgeous divinity that we can celebrate, fall in love with, moment to moment.

Even the rude people — it can be more of a challenge seeing the divinity in someone when they’re being an ass, but you’re up to the challenge. See the good heart underneath their reactiveness, the pain underneath their anger, the years of difficulty and stress that have resulted in them being who they are. And then see the beauty in their humanity, the sweetness in the connection between the two of you.

Life shifts when you practice this mantra. People become incredible beings filled with the wonders of the cosmos. Your heart becomes filled with joy and gratitude, and their being late becomes an opportunity to see what a gift it is that they are here with you at all.

BY LEO BABAUTA

Teen Stress (Causes, Effects, Tips)

Teenage Stress


It has often been said that the teenage years are the "best years of your life".  However, anyone who says that does not remember what it is like being a teenager.  Between school, life, parents, friends, and the fact that all of them want all of your time, there is no way to get away from the petty concerns and strains that can lead to serious stress.  However, nobody seems willing to give up any of the time they demand from you, so you find yourself torn in a thousand different directions with nowhere to turn to for help.  Fortunately, you do not need to deal with stress all on your own.  Rather, you  can find plenty of help, just as long as you look for it.  Unfortunately, teenagers rarely look for help and many of the assets available to them are simply ignored.  Thus, your teen stress keeps getting worse.

The first place to look for relief from teen stress is at school.  There is a certain class of people who desperately want to help teens get through their problems and find solutions, but they usually sit in their offices waiting in vain for someone to talk to them.  These people are guidance counselors and they are there to help you.  However, it is very rare for someone to avail themselves of this prime opportunity for assistance, so actually sitting down with somebody is a treat for them and they will do all they can to help.  True, most people think that guidance counselors are really just lost souls who can't seem to get out of school, but that is not the case.  Guidance counselors decided on their career because they want to help others.  Which means that they want to help you.

As well, you can get help for teen stress through your teachers.  True, most of the help you get will probably be for your work in the classroom but, strange as it may seem, teachers are actually human beings.  They want to connect with their students so that, when you go to see them, they will be happy to help you.  If you go to them in order to get help with your schoolwork, they will happily give you assistance.  They can help you through any issues or difficulties that you may be having and you will can learn more from them after class than you will during class.  Such one-on-one sessions can help them narrow down issues in a way that they cannot while they are lecturing to a room full of students.

Additionally, once you sit down with your teachers, you may actually discover that you enjoy talking to them.  After all, to repeat a point, they are people.  And because they spend so much time in the company of teenagers, they understand teen stress.  However, they also understand it from a philosophical perspective that can breathe some fresh air into the problems that you are confronting.  Though you may not always enjoy the answers they can provide, they will be worth thinking about and, in the fullness of time, you will probably discover that they provided a very good insight into your problems.

Another excellent source for teen stress is with your parents.  This is because of a simple fact that you may not want to accept.  This is the simple fact that parents tend to have children who are very similar to them.  No, it's really not pleasant to think about, since that means that you may turn out to be like your parents.  But, let us put that aside for now.

Your parents were once your age (strange as that may seem) and teens often have to go through very similar problems.  Thus, your parents have felt teen stress and they know what it is like.  Sure, they may not want to admit that it was anything special, but they will, hopefully, remember that it was not easy at the time.  So if you really need to get some sort of advice or help, sit down and talk to your parents.  Not only will you get some sort of help, but you will also make their day.  After all, how many parents get the chance to really connect with their teenage children?

Teen stress is one of the hardest things to get through, but you can rest assured that it has been done.  Billions of people in the world have all had to go through the travails of the teenage years and they have through to the other side.  So prepare yourself, get help when you need it, and look for help when you can.  By relying on people who have "been there, done that" you can see your way clear to the other side.  Then, you can safely look back on your teen stress and say stupid things like, "the teenage years are the best years of your life!"

By: Trevor Dumbleton

Author Bio
LowerYourStress.com: for everything to do with stress. Get a free ebook to help with your stress levels: http://www.loweryourstress.com/stress-book.html

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A Major Cause of Stress

Discover that stress is NOT being caused primarily by people or situations, but by your own thoughts and actions.

We tend to think of stress as something that occurs because of outside events, such as having financial problems, relationship problems, health problems, or from having too much to do. Certainly, events such as these are challenging, but they are not the actual cause of stressful feelings.

Stress Is An Important Message

Stress is your inner guidance's way of letting you know that you are thinking thoughts or taking actions that are out of alignment with what is in your highest good, or that you are trying to control something that you cannot control - such as how people feel about you or the outcome of things. Stress may also be letting you know that something in your body is out of whack - you are on medications or substances that are affecting your brain and causing the stress, or you have eaten foods such as sugar, processed, or pesticide-laden food that is causing brain toxicity, leading to feeling stressed.

When you are operating from your wounded self and trying to control something over which you have no control - such as others' feelings and the outcome of things - your stress is letting you know that you are hitting your head against a wall and not accepting reality. The opposite of stress - inner peace - is the result of accepting what is, learning to take loving care of ourselves in the face of what is, and practicing gratitude for the big and small blessings on this incredible journey of life - even in the face of all the challenges. And as many of us have experienced, gratitude offers us a stress-free way to manifest what we want, and works far better than trying to control others and outcomes,

Beyond Stress

Wallace Wattles, the author of the 110-year old book, "The Science of Getting Rich," states that "Man [and woman] may come into full harmony with the Formless Substance [this is what he calls God] by entertaining a lively and sincere gratitude for the blessings it bestows upon him [and her]. Gratitude unifies the mind of man [and woman] with the intelligence of Substance, so that man's [and woman's] thoughts are received by the Formless Intelligence through a deep and continuous feeling of gratitude." He states that when you frequently contemplate the mental image of what you want, "coupled with unwavering faith and devout gratitude," you set in motion the creative forces of manifestation.

Your stress is letting you know that you are doing the opposite of this - you are using your thoughts to create what you don't want and to try to control others and outcomes rather than to co-create with Spirit.

The major challenge here is about being in faith that all of this is true. You might know that this is true from the perspective of your loving adult, but your wounded self likely doesn't believe it. It is very easy for the wounded self to come in with thoughts of bad things happening, which moves you out of faith and gratitude and into stress. It is very easy for the wounded self to focus on how to try to have control over others and outcomes, which will always create stress. It is very easy for the wounded self to turn to junk food and other substances that bring the body out of balance and cause stress. It is even easy for the wounded self to try to use Inner Work and gratitude as a way of controlling God! It is so important when opening to learning and moving into Gratitude, to make sure that your intent is to be loving to yourself and others, WITH NO OTHER AGENDA, rather than using Inner Work as just another way to attempt to control others and outcomes.

Stress Is Your Friend

Stress is your friend in that it is instantly letting you know that you are off track in your thinking and/or behavior. Instead of ignoring your stress or pacifying it with various addictions, which will ultimately cause more stress, why not do Inner Work and attend to it with a deep desire to learn about how you are off track?

When you really think about it, it is strange that our society tries so hard to get rid of stress with medications and addictions, instead of learning what it is trying to tell us. When you really get that stress is your guide's way of telling you that you are "off the mark," (in the original Aramaic Bible, sin is translated as off the mark) in your thinking and/or behavior, you will attend to what you are doing to create it, rather than ignore it or try to get rid of it.

Margaret Paul, 

Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Margaret_Paul,_Ph.D./16527

Emotion, Stress and Health: Crash Course Psychology #26

Is It Time to Ask For Help?

Many of us feel disinclined to ask for help. Even asking for directions can require a huge effort. We may be loathed to appear vulnerable or incompetent, telling ourselves, 'I'll be fine, we must be nearly there by now, it will all work out in the end'!

But whilst we may feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness, the reality is it can often be a sign of strength. Appreciating the value of additional support or input can positively influence our chances of success, saving us time and allowing us to maximise our resources. There's nothing weak about doing that!

Here's to recognising that it's time to ask for help.

- Feeling overwhelmed, out of our depth, not sure where to start or how to proceed is an important indicator that it's time to ask for help. Whether we're in a study, work or domestic situation it can be frustrating and futile to fritter increasing amounts of time not knowing where what or how to begin. Overwhelm can result in anger, frustration and feeling de-motivated, especially if we're new, young or lacking in confidence. If we're unable to determine the way forward we may end up feeling stupid, useless and choose to walk away.

Asking for help from the outset means we potentially start with a clearer overview and directions or instructions from day one. We're able to make notes and continue using any of the channels of communication we've opened, so helping us become more confident about speaking up if and when required.

- There may be areas of our life which really cannot be ignored any longer. A team may be struggling to bond, a disruptive relationship may be causing havoc or staff development may not be as successful as was planned. Outside help may provide a better, more neutral perspective, see things differently and be able to work effectively to bring about positive results.

If our personal relationship is struggling, outside help can be beneficial in the form of relationship counselling. This can be a good decision even when the only option left is to split, facilitating a more respectful resolution, especially when there are children to consider.

- Stress often builds up over time, perhaps being triggered by a catalogue of day-to-day pressures, unhappy mindset or precarious physical wellbeing. Learn to recognise the signs that your stress symptoms are starting to appear. Signs may be poor concentration, accidents and mistakes, not sleeping well, losing your joy in life, each alerting you to the need to start saying 'no', develop better coping strategies and start asking for help.

Counselling and hypnotherapy can be a good way to deal with old unhelpful habits, support good decision-making and introduce effective stress management strategies. Find time for fun, things that you're good at and commit to taking regular breaks.

- What about those occasions when we're already doing too much, yet still agree to take on more, rather than say 'no'! Such behaviour can come from a fear of appearing incapable, inefficient, not coping or we don't want to disappoint or risk losing a client. We may want to do it all, be keen to be involved in every step of the process, perhaps not trust others to do as good a job or prefer to micro-manage everything.

Asking for help allows others to feel included, part of the team and so enable them to develop and even suggest better working practices. Or there may be some real value in forming alliances with other associated businesses and offering a more comprehensive menu of goods and services, a win/win for all involved.

You gain by having additional time for other, perhaps more important things, or free up some time for fun activities. It might be viable to pay for help with domestic chores, like gardening, ironing or cleaning or engage business expertise to support your accountancy, social media, admin needs; all could be money well spent.

- Perfectionism is often a barrier to asking for help. Easing our stress levels through constant checking may bring its own temporary reassurance, but it's often short-lived. Learning to move on from one piece of work when it's finished, good enough, can save a lot of time and stress. Besides that, going over something repeatedly often means we become de-sensitised and word-blind to any flaws or errors. A fresh pair of eyes can often zone in on something straight away.

- Trust other people's areas of expertise. If you know someone who's already practiced or familiar with what you're attempting to do invite them to share their experiences with you. Chances are they'll be only too happy to help and you may be able to reciprocate at another time. Alliances like this can bring advantages to all involved.

Our business skills or personal capabilities may benefit from the introduction of a coach, trainer or mentor to provide guidance, motivation and accountability. Soliciting help can move us out of our comfort zone and take our personal and professional development to the next level. When our aim is to grow and develop it's often important to ask for help.

By Susan Leigh 
http://ezinearticles.com/?Is-It-Time-to-Ask-For-Help?&id=9910625

Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.She's an author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.

Impacts of Stress

Every living being in the world often experiences stress. It is basically a physical response of the brain and the body to any potential threat or demand.
When your body feels the potential of stress it releases a complex mix of hormones and chemicals causing a number of reactions in the body. These reactions could be your knees and hands getting shaky; your palms get sweaty, and your heartbeat and breathing getting faster. These reactions are caused due to the release of a hormone called adrenaline which temporarily affects your nervous system. Some people can recover from stressful events more quickly than others. A stress reaction may be a one-time event, for short period of time or can frequently be happening over a long period of time. You might experience stress from day to day activities, like the pressure of work, school, family, divorce, illness, events like an accident, natural disaster etc.

However, stress can be life-saving in some situations:

• Stressful situations lead to the release of chemicals which can give you a boost of energy, which also enables you to focus your attention so you can react quickly to the situation.
• The quickness of pulse, faster breathing, use of more oxygen and increased activity in your brain are all aimed at your body to prepare to face a threat.
• The stress response can help you perform well under pressure. It can help you mount to a challenge; focus and can boost your energy. It is a part of learning and growing up.
• It can also motivate you while preparing or performing certain tasks like take a test or an interview for a new job.

Everyone is exposed to stressful situations in their lifetime. How an individual copes with it can lead to a wide variety of health problems.

• If the stress response goes on for a long period of time it is called chronic stress which can hamper your health. During chronic stress, the mixed hormones and chemicals get released rapidly. These can suppress the immune system, sleep, digestion and reproductive system.
• A longer period of stress can release chemicals which can leave a person to feeling tired or overwhelmed.
• People who suffer from stress for long durations of time can become sick, unable to concentrate or think and even suffer from mental breakdowns.
• Chronic stress can cause one to drink too much alcohol or intake of nicotine which can increase your blood pressure and may damage the artery walls.

The continued strain of stress in your body can cause mental disorders like depression or anxiety.

Conclusion:
We should all take steps to manage stress so that it does not impact our health. There are different methods such as Yoga, meditation, etc. which help to alleviate stress.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tushar_Deep_Singh/1934574

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Improve Your Time Management Skills With These 8 Tips

Improve Your Time Management Skills With These 8 Tips

Time is the only resource that is allocated to us on equal measures. However, the difference between a successful individual and a failure is how they manage their time. Proper management of this vital resource guarantees you immense success. However, this does not mean that successful people spend all their days and nights pursuing their goals. They simply utilize the few hours that they have.

Probably you have been trying to manage your time properly, but things have not been going the way you want. Don't worry; here are the eight killer time management tips that can make you achieve more in whichever field that you are pursuing.

1. Know Your Priorities

Everything may be good, but only a few of them are essential. This includes the tasks that you are supposed to do in a day. Although all of them are significant to your life, they differ in their levels of importance. Some are essential while others don't require immediate attention. The simplest way of distinguishing between these two groups is by preparing a list of priorities. Some tasks should be at the top of the list while others can be tossed back or even delegated. By establishing your priorities, you will be able to do away with the pressure that comes with having uncompleted jobs. You will also pay special attention to important tasks and at the end get high-quality results.

2. Avoid Multitasking

Even though you may have several tasks staring at you, do not be attempted to multitask. Many people assume that multitasking helps them complete many tasks within a short time. In reality, you will be doing less. The quality of work done through multitasking is usually low. Our brains perform at their peak when we focus on one subject at a time. While multitasking, you will be subjecting your brain to some torture. You will also not give the tasks special attention that they deserve. At the end of it, you will spend more hours and even deliver poor quality results.

3. Consolidate Routine Tasks and Allocate Time to them

No matter what time of day it is, there are those tasks that you cannot avoid doing. For instance, you cannot avoid making phone calls, replying text messages or submitting those daily reports. Regardless of their importance, they can affect the quality of your job if you keep doing them when working. So, what should you do? Just consolidate all these routine tasks and allocate them their special time. Do not mix with important tasks at hand.

Set a special time during the day such that you will dedicate it to all the routine tasks. Reply to all the emails that were sent, make phone calls and draft the reports. This will help you to save many working hours.

4. Set up Deadlines

Working without deadlines sounds cool but only to those that are lazy and not time conscious. Deadlines keep you on your toes. You won't lazy around since you will be aware that there are some tasks that you need to complete within a specific time. The most important question that your deadline should answer is, when should the task be finished? Setting your deadlines will be of no importance if you don't stick to them. No matter how much freedom you have, be disciplined and try to work within them. Once you achieve them, don't shy away from celebrating. Doing this will motivate you stick to other deadlines in the future.

5. Avoid stress

High levels of stress will definitely affect your levels of productivity. In addition to that, it will make you spend more time in executing a task. When stressed, we spend more hours trying to think about our problems and how we can get their ideal solutions. Even when the task at hand is of high priority, your mind will not be there. You will only focus on it for some few minutes then revert to the issue that is disturbing your mind. When dealing with any task, try to avoid thinking about stressful issues that will disorient you.

6. Scheduling

Scheduling is all about creating plans. Do you ever design a plan for your day or everything happens randomly? Scheduling will protect you from all types of distractions. Instead, you will be able to stick to all the tasks without being affected by any external factors.

Scheduling your day is not a difficult task. All you need is a paper and a pen. Once you are done with drafting, stick it somewhere that you will be able to see with ease. At the end of the day, try to crosscheck what you had planned to do and what you have managed to achieve. Schedule your tasks at night before going to bed or early in the morning. Nowadays we even have computer applications and mobile apps that can help you to organize your day properly.

7. Get Rid of Distractions

Studies show that a normal worker is likely to be distracted by technology after every ten minutes. Some of the most common distracters include emails, social media, and even video gaming. Some of the distracters are addictive and once you take a break to do them, you may never get back to continue with the job. The most effective way of dealing with them is to turn off all notifications on your browser.

When it comes to mobile phone, just turn it off when working. You can also download some computer software that will block those websites that tend to waste your time.

8. Learn to Say No

Most people fear to say no to any temptation that comes on their way. They do this, yet they are fully aware of how a "yes" will affect their level of productivity. Learn to turn down many requests that are brought to you and instead put that energy in dealing with the tasks at hand. You should also say no to lucrative but short-term offers from your colleagues.

Conclusion

Whether you are trying to fulfill your personal goals or working as a team, how you manage your time will determine where you will reach. The tips in the article will improve your time management skills and make you a better person.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Philip_Cheng/2449104http://ezinearticles.com/?Improve-Your-Time-Management-Skills-With-These-8-Tips&id=9811590

Source:   Philip Cheng