Stop Settling, Live Your Best Life Now 

 Do you notice how often people settle for what they think they can get instead of going for the gold in those important areas of their life? How often do you see people plodding along in their jobs, relationships, or places to live so that it's obvious they don't enjoy what they have, or how often do you see people stop short of the little pleasures they really want by settling for things that are "good enough?"

There are a couple of reasons we find that people settle for less. Usually, it's either out of fear or because they are disconnected from their values.

When it's fear it can be: fear of failure, fear of loss of acceptance, fear of the unknown, or the big one: fear being disappointed. Fear often leaves people cynical and resigned that things could ever be better, and doubtful that they can have what they truly want. But recognizing that you've become cynical can be a good thing.

"A cynical person is just a very passionate person who is trying to avoid being disappointed again." ~ Benjamin Zander, The Art of Possibility

If you think about it, you would have to care very deeply in the first place in order to become cynical. Apathy simply wouldn't generate the kind of energy that truly cynical people seem to have.

These weeds of fears and disconnection from our values take root in the garden of our lives at a very young age. They are fertilized by a life of being told what to think, what's right and what's wrong, what's good and bad, and what's appropriate and inappropriate. Before long these weeds start to choke out our hopes and expectations as we are rewarded for obeying and punished for disobeying and we learn to settle for less and less.

Authority figures tell us what is THE TRUTH and we learn to believe what they say - OR ELSE. And somewhere along the line we take these truths on as our own.

We aren't arguing against the value of cultural wisdom or tradition in this article. We are simply pointing out some of the negative effects of not being taught to think critically and to determine what is important to us for ourselves.

Since we aren't taught how to determine what's most important to us, we easily become disconnected from an internal sense of our own values. This prevents us from discovering what is truly important to us, moment by moment in our daily lives - how to live our best life now.

And though we become experts at griping about our situations, we never become skilled at examining our underlying beliefs that keep us in these situations. We didn't learn to stop and ask, "What is important to me in this particular situation?" or, "What do I value here and what do I really want?"

But as young children we learned why we shouldn't ask for what we wanted. The looks and actions of those in authority clearly gave us the message that we were selfish for asking. Or we were openly told that asking was bad, wrong, or inappropriate in some way.

We've all heard these messages: money doesn't grow on trees, don't rock the boat, don't be selfish, there's not enough to go around, or you should just be thankful for what you have. There were any number of these messages that taught us we live in a world of scarcity, we can never get what we really want, and we better just be happy with what we can get. And we learned it can be risky to ask for more than you have.

The problem with settling for less than what we really want is that it can lead to a sense of confusion, frustration, and dissatisfaction, not only for the people who limit themselves but also for the people in their life who live with their dissatisfaction, which brings us to the first practice.

~~ Connecting With Your Undiscovered Values ~~

We will make a rather bold assertion here: most of the internal distress people feel results from being disconnected from their most deeply held personal values, and then behaving in ways that are out of harmony with these values.

To see how this plays out we're going to use a fictional example. But to make it real for you, we ask that you use an area of your life, about which you are less than completely satisfied, and follow along.

You can pick any area: your relationship with your significant other, a child, boss, employee, or even the man at the shoe repair shop. Or it can be a situation such as your job, living arrangements, vehicle, or finances. As long as you are somewhat dissatisfied, anything like this will work.

How will you know if the area you pick will work? Because you'll remember saying something like, "It's not so bad," "It's more work to fix it than it is worth," "Its not perfect but it's good enough," "It wouldn't make a difference if I tried to fix it anyway," "If I tried to change this, it might get worse," or any other settle-for-less statement.

Okay, have you picked an area? As we go through our example, imagine how each piece of our example applies to your situation.

We've said that settling for what we think we can get, rather than going for what we really want, can lead to a sense of confusion, frustration, and dissatisfaction, both for us and for others. To illustrate this, imagine a woman who has never been satisfied with her job. We'll call her Pat.

Pat's been going to work day after day, week after week, dreading every minute. The only options she sees are either to quit or suffer. You can easily see how settling for this job could leave her feeling frustrated.

But how she feels abut her job affects more than just her own sense of well being. How do you imagine she acts with the people at work, and how might it impact the way she is with her family and friends?

Do you imagine her frustration and irritation might cause her to complain about her situation? Has anyone ever complained to you about their dissatisfaction and hopelessness? How did this affect you? When someone settles for less it affects everyone and not just the person doing the settling.

But what prevents Pat from looking for a solution instead of just grinding along in the same old routine?

As we said before, one reason we end up settling for things we don't enjoy is fear: Fear of failure, loss of acceptance, fear of the unknown, or fear of being disappointed. We also implied that Pat's distress be caused by her disconnection from her most deeply held personal values, and then behaving in ways that were out of harmony with those values.

If this is true, how might getting clear about her personal values help her break out of this pattern of settling for less and propel her into action to go for what she really wants? This brings us to the second practice.

~~ Constant Awareness of Your Personal Values ~~

Awareness of our personal values gives us an internal landmark or reference point that we can use to guide our actions. With this internal landmark, we can guide our actions so they are in harmony with what is most deeply important to us -- who we really are.

For our life and relationships to work smoothly it's important that we create alignment between our values and our actions, first with ourselves and then with others.

The process of aligning your values and actions with yourself starts with learning how to identify what you most deeply value in any situation. Only then can you create a clear vision of what you want to experience that is aligned with your values.

Once you have this clear mental image, you are able to identify specific, step-by-step actions that will create those results most likely to lead you toward your vision.

But what do we mean when we talk about values? We mean any principle or quality that is intrinsically valuable or desirable to you. Using this definition a person couldn't value "getting to work on time" or "making a lot of money" because these are actions or results, not the underlying principle or quality of life that would generate these actions and results.

So let's examine what Pat might value that is missing in her current job situation and generating her complaints. Well, she might deeply value connection and community, but she doesn't really know her co-workers very well because no one talks about anything other than work.

She might also value contribution, but she never hears form her boss that her work is contributing to the organization or the people it serves. She may also be missing a sense of creativity and freedom that would contribute to her own growth.

Just by identifying how much she values connection, community, contribution, creativity, freedom, and growth, she has already gained enough clarity to see her job and herself a little differently. This change in perspective provides some distance from her dissatisfaction and shifts her focus of attention from her complaints. And what you focus your attention on grows.

It's now possible for her to realize that there are simply things she values that are missing at her job. With this clarity, she can now try to come up with ideas that might help her have what she values at her present job.

Were not implying that she will be able to create everything she values in her current situation, but until she knows what she values, and how these values are missing in this unsatisfying situation, she will never know what to ask for to get what she wants.

But identifying what she values is just the first step. In order to make a difference, she needs to translate these values into concrete actions that will result in the experience of what she values in her situation. So starting with this in mind, what actions might she take that would result in her experiencing what she values?

To create more connection and community she might organize some weekly activities with her coworkers, such as a discussion group during lunch or regular recreational activities after work.

To meet her need for contribution she might ask her boss to tell her how what she is doing is contributing to the organization and the people it serves. And to meet her need for growth she can also ask for support in identifying ways that she could contribute more successfully.

To meet her need for creativity she could ask her boss and coworkers if they were interested in hearing creative ideas for the growth of the company.

In short, when she is clear about what she values she can begin to take responsibility for creating the kind of life she wants, and taking this kind of responsibility could contribute to her own sense of freedom. And so we find ourselves at the third practice.

~~ Consistent Alignment With Your Personal Values ~~

Clarity about our deeply held personal values creates the possibility of consistent, internal alignment. With this internal alignment, we can then share the vision of what we want with others, and begin the process of creating alignment with them about that vision. We can explore whether they share these same values and are interested in experiencing them more fully.

The process of creating an initial alignment with others about our values and vision makes reaching agreements with them and achieving results together, happen much more quickly and easily. When you create power with other people in your life this way it opens up the possibility for greater success and satisfaction for everyone.

In our example, Pat now has the key to release herself from a future of confusion, complaining, and hopelessness. Now she can open the door to the possibility of true freedom from fear so she can begin to create her best life now.

So don't give up. Just remember that what you focus your attention on grows. The surest way to keep settling for less is to focus attention on your dissatisfaction and fear of taking action.

But once you're able to focus on what you truly value in any situation, and how to identify the actions and results that will give you what you value, creating exactly what you want most is all downhill.

by Beth Banning
Co-authored by Neill Gibson.


Article source;http://www.articlesphere.com/republish.php?id=92029
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The Values Factor Book

How To Create A Business Based On Your Values 

 Your Inner Genius is the fullness and wholeness of you. We do not realize it but we tend to view the world and ourselves in a very fragmented manner. We are not used to seeing a full 360 degree perspective of our lives, talk less of our businesses.

Let me give you an example of daily fragmentation in your life. If I asked you an awkward question and said, "Who are you?" You would probably tell me your name. Upon further questioning, you would probably closely identify with what you do professionally. You might say, "I am a lawyer" or "I am a doctor" or "I am a corporate executive at such and such a company."

I practiced law for twenty years and I said it all the time: "I am a lawyer" and I still do say it often. But look at that term very closely. It means I am taking on the entire profession to describe myself. It would be more appropriate to say, "I practice law."

It is a simple way to describe yourself for the ease of communication and qualifying yourself. However, there is so much more to you than what you do. You are here on earth to create your own Unique Planetary Imprint. Another person with the same qualifications as you cannot do what you do. There is only one you and you have a distinctive purpose.

The way you discover what you are here on planet earth to do is by discovering those parts of yourself that you did not even know existed. From there, you create a business on what you value the most.

For you to be successful in business, you have to first understand who you are and what you are made of. As you understand, love and accept yourself, you will then be able to create a business from a place of strength rather than as a result of your weaknesses.

Let us go on a discovery journey of your Inner Genius. Your Inner Genius is the Intersection of five key components of you.

Your Left Brain:  All the knowledge and reasoning you have accumulated experientially and academically. This includes your organizational skills and  analytical skills. Many people create businesses solely from this part of their lives. However, the marketplace is changing. Many jobs are being outsourced so having a marketable skill is important but not enough.

Your Right Brain:  Your creative, imaginative and holistic side. It is absolutely necessary to tap into creativity to be able to survive and even thrive in today's marketplace. Apply your creativity to your goods and services and apply it to your marketing as well.

Your Emotional Heart: This is the center of your feelings. Your emotions are a guidance system. They are not who you are.  We tend to identify the sum total of who we are by our emotional expression. We say, "he is an angry man." However, anger is an indicative emotion: It merely tells us that we are pissed off about something.  Our negative emotions are there to let us know that whatever we have experienced is not positive and does not help us. However, many of us hold on to negative emotions and identify ourselves with those emotions. Our positive emotions are to us as sunlight is to plants and flowers. Our positive state is our natural setting. We are meant to be happy and to feel good. When we feel good, our bodies are healthier and others are happier around us.

Pay attention to what your emotions are telling you about other people's businesses. What sort of practices sit well with you? What do you see other businesses doing that you would like to do?

Gregg Braden, an author and scientist whose work focuses on bridging the gap between ancient traditions and modern technology, has written extensively on heart based prayers where the you pray and engage your emotions and envision the solution you want. As he explains, the heart has a much stronger electromagnetic field than the brain. The heart is 5000 times stronger magnetically than the brain and 500 times stronger than the brain electrically.

As a result, tapping into the positive emotions and enjoying them in a heart felt way helps your health and is more powerful for you than anything you may learn in your brain.

Listening to your emotions and factoring how you feel and how you want to feel in designing the life and business that you want is a powerful tool.

Your Somatic body:  This is your physical being and Chakra system.  Your Chakra system refers to a system of energy flow in your body.  Your body is intuitive. It speaks to you. You experience many feelings in your body but you may not be aware of them. The Chakra system is an Ancient Sanskrit tradition that addresses the flow of energy in the body. Each of the seven chakras speak to where emotions can lodge in your body energetically. As you understand the seven chakras, you will understand the wonderful hidden messages that your body is communicating to you.

This is not an in depth study of the Chakra system. However, regardless of your spiritual background, it is important to study the body and how it holds energy. Prolonged stress, fear and negative thinking have a negative impact on the corresponding Chakra. Allowing negative emotions to flow through the body and discharging them is important to your emotional  health. These negative energetic patterns will show up in your business if you do not take the time to check in with your Chakra system and clear the blocked energy.

To understand the Chakra system further, have you ever had a lump in your throat when you had something important to say? That lump in your throat is an indication of a block in your throat Chakra. What do you do about it? You express it. You may need to yell. You may need to cry. At the end of the day, you will need to speak your truth. When you have a blockage in your throat Chakra, it is your body's wisdom asking you to speak the truth of your whole being.

The seven Chakras and their corresponding values are listed below.

~ Root Chakra - The value of belonging.
~ Sacral Chakra - The value of pleasure and enjoying life with adequate boundaries.
~ Solar Plexus - The value of your personal power.
~ Heart Chakra - The value of love and of protecting your heart.
~ Throat Chakra - The value of communication and speaking your truth.
~ Third Eye Chakra - The value of intuition and perception of the world around you.
~ Crown Chakra - The value of your Spiritual Connection

As I studied the chakra system, I enjoyed finding out the different values within each energy center.  In addition, I discovered that those energy centers also spoke to business practices. As a business woman, this really intrigued me.  It also help me further express my values in my business. Make sure each of the values within the Chakra system are showing up in your business.

Your God Connection:  This is your spiritual and non-physical consciousness. This is sacred. Regardless of your religious background, we can agree to this mysterious connection that we all have with Source, Holy Spirit, Universe, The Divine, God, Divine Intelligence, Jesus and/or whatever Name you may choose. Inviting the sacred into your daily life and tapping into that Universal Intelligence has to be a part of your daily life to design the life that you want.  I encourage my clients to develop and delve into their faith and ask themselves these questions:

 ~ Is your connection life giving?
 ~ Is it life expanding?
 ~ Is it mysterious?
 ~ Is it loving?
 ~ Is it liberating?

As you realize that the Spiritual attribute is all these things, you realize you cannot live unconsciously any longer and that the attributes of Source Energy is what you want to show up in your life in a big way. This energy is what will give your business momentum and capacity in delivering goods and services to the marketplace. Embrace it.

Are you convinced of how amazing you are and how you can create an equally amazing business in the marketplace? Your feelings are a language that speak to you. They are important. Your creativity must express herself. Your intuition wants you to listen. Your energy centers are speaking to you now.  All this is very important so please pay good attention to those five areas of your life. As you do so, you create a powerful synergy within yourself.

Now that you are aware of these various components of you, be aware that together, they want to communicate with you and help you create a life that is filled with abundance and goodness and wonderful things. As you gain awareness of all these parts of you, and deliberately engage them, you will find your Inner Genius emerging as a thing of beauty, just like a butterfly emerges from a caterpillar.

As you meld your right brain and your left brain and seek whole brain strategies, check in often with your emotions, listen to your body speaking to you and factor in the Source component of your life, you will have amazing courage and abilities.  You will easily discover the abundance that abounds all around you and you will find your business prospering and growing.
by Iyabo Asani


This article is part of a 40 page report by Iyabo Asani on "How to Reinvent Yourself at Midlife and Maintain Your Sanity." If you would like a complimentary copy of the full report, please visit:  a< href="http://www.CoachIyabo.com/reinvent">HERE.

Iyabo Asani is a life and business coach. A former lawyer, she left the practice of law after twenty yeascovering the gifts and talents of their Inner Genius.

Articrs and now, she helps empower smart boomers create businesses and attract abundance by dile Source: http://www.articlesphere.com/Article/How-To-Create-A-Business-Based-On-Your-Values/189372

3 Boundaries You Must Set in Every Relationship | SuperSoul Sunday | Opr...

Who Draws the Line?

The lines we draw in life are really barricades we erect to establish acceptable behavior with the people we interact with. One of the most obvious ways to recognize people whose life is off-balance is to observe where they erect these barriers. Many have none at all. Barriers are like road warning signs to prevent traffic from entering areas that may be dangerous or deadly. The lines we draw in life serve the same purpose. They can be vital to our existence.

The people you surround yourself with, those who are 'in your loop' represent where you drew lines in the past. The story about who you have become is revealed by a close observation of who is in your life today. You surround yourself with people who are what you see yourself as becoming. As the same as the old adage says, 'birds of a feather flock together'; you will be judged by the company you keep. Your comfort zone tells the story about who you are and plan to become.

If you find yourself accepting behavior today that was unacceptable before, your line has been moved by you or through your acceptance of bad behavior. A spouse or partner who has a new bad habit, a child who has become a stranger, a friend who speaks disparagingly about you or your family or the multitude of things that you observe and know were unacceptable before are good examples of how your lines or barriers have been relocated. When you notice these changes in the people around you and realize you are no longer offended or bothered by them it is time to examine what changed, and why.

If the reason is because you have new information or have discovered an underlying cause that is acceptable your barriers were moved to accommodate a cause you believe is in your best interest. It takes a miracle to change the mind of any human, or a crushing blow one believes they cannot change or recover from. If the reasons you identify fall more into the category of a blow to you or your self-worth it is time to drag them back into place, recover your values and polish your self-image mirror. These kinds of things render those warning signs as life-preserving.

It is never OK to accept the unacceptable if you are trading off your own values to allow another person or situation to use you for their private doormat or whipping boy. The company of no other person is worth accepting less than you should demand for yourself. People who genuinely care will never ask this of you. If you become confused about the cause, examine the content of the requests. Would it be embarrassing to share with someone who you have no doubt about cares for you? Is it in your best interest to re-draw the lines? If the answer is no you are better served to cut ties than move lines.

By Alexa Keating
Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?Who-Draws-the-Line?&id=9930148

Purpose Driven Life - Dr Demartini On Values And Purpose In Life

Tony Robbins: How To Get To Know Yourself (Tony Robbins 2017)

When You Must Make A Choice, Always Choose The One That Cultivates Your Personal Growth

Become Someone Of Character

When you're faced with a choice in life, always choose the one that will promote your personal growth instead of taking the easy way.

Whilst I concede the easier choice can be less complicated than enduring pain and suffering, it might not be the best decision.

Don't leave your personal growth to chance, otherwise you will regret not abiding by your values.

Choices aligned with your personal growth are seldom easy, yet are worth it because of the investment in yourself. Every choice draws you closer to the person you intend to be or further away.

Choices are your barometer for navigating life, so avoid making ones that are easy now but difficult later.

Author Charlie Harary explains in Unlocking Greatness: The Unexpected Journey from the Life You Have to the Life You Want that your choices have a long lasting effect in your life: "It's your choice how to respond to challenges, how to live in the moment, and whether you will fight for excellence in everything you do."

Become someone of character, even when others don't notice. Character relates to the relationship you have with yourself foremost and others.

Sometimes you won't know how resilient you are until it counts. It is during these times your inner resolve will be known, hence the purpose of your growth.

Consider personal growth as insurance you draw on, but something that is stockpiled the more you engage it.

For example, Navy SEALs train for years and may be called upon for active duty in rare situations. However, they hone their mental and physical training knowing nothing can be left to chance.

You should apply the same discipline and dedication to your personal growth. Be meticulous in choosing growth over the easy path.

Choose The Path Of Betterment And Excellence

You are always making choices, even when you can't decide that is still a choice. Consider the following questions when you find yourself conflicted between two choices and unable to decide:

· Will I regret this decision later on?

· Am I upholding my values and integrity?

· What will I gain by making this decision?

· What will I lose by making this decision?

Sometimes, it will mean stepping out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes, it will mean being uncomfortable or embarrassed before your peers, family and friends.

Sometimes, it will mean making choices that offer no return or appease someone to bring peace to a situation. In these instances, you are choosing your personal growth and reinforcing your strength of character.

Sometimes you are required to take risks which may conflict with your self-esteem and personal character. However, it is unwise to trade in your values since that is the one true measure you cannot rebuild.

Motivational guru Brendon Burchard writes in The Motivation Manifesto of the need to build our character because of how we relate to the world: "If we are to measure and monitor and improve anything, let it be our story, our character, and our conduct-a mindfulness of who we are and how we are experiencing and relating to the world."

Recently, the Australian cricket team has made the news for the wrong reasons, regarding the ball tampering debacle. Three players, including the team captain and vice-captain have brought the team and country into disrepute because of their actions.

We've seen this widespread across many sports including cycling, where disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong was stripped of his seven Tour de France victories.

Whilst their actions will be long forgotten and forgiven in time, they will always be remembered as less than sporting heroes for their actions.

Not all of us will be faced with making such choices, though it shows how our actions have a ripple effect in our lives and the lives of others.

For that reason, choose the path of betterment and excellence because it is lined with moral character. If you deviate from this path, it may be impossible to navigate your way back.

Pursue Character And Integrity

Many people experience problems in their lives because they choose the easy path. Everyone is looking for shortcuts, whether it be in: business, health, finance or relationships. The craving for success without committing oneself to the task is an attractive undertaking many go in search of.

As you know, what comes quickly may not be long-lasting.

For example, if you want to be in an intimate relationship, you may need to put the other person's interests before yours. You will need to be a good listener and give your time to nurture the relationship.

In this example, choosing personal growth means investing in others before your needs are met, which reinforces your character.

If you walk away with one key point from this piece that is: Always choose actions that pull you closer to the person you want to become, even if it means walking away from something you aim to profit from.

Good character and values are scarce nowadays, since many are unwilling to invest in themselves. We have become a throwaway society with less than optimal values and character. It's rare to meet a person with strong values because most people are lured by the notion of: "What's in it for me?"

What's in it for you may not be what's in it for others. Personal growth will require you to put other people before you, so it matters in the long run.

It's what the late Stephen Covey talked about in The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People with Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.

Decide what's important to you and follow the principles as best you can. Pursue character and integrity as your highest moral code if that is who you intend to be.

"Greatness is a choice. You have to choose to unlock the greatness within. Sometimes all it takes is turning a simple key. Sometimes it takes a hatchet. Sometimes it takes a mound of TNT. And sometimes it just takes the persistence of being there, knocking again and again until that door finally opens," affirms Charlie Harary.

Choosing the path of good moral character can be a lonely road because not all people walk the path, so you will be required to walk it alone.

Do so anyway.

The one key principle is the relationship you have with yourself which cannot be taken from you, so guard it fiercely so you evolve into someone you are proud to be.

By Tony Fahkry

http://ezinearticles.com/?When-You-Must-Make-A-Choice,-Always-Choose-The-One-That-Cultivates-Your-Personal-Growth&id=9914237