How To Wake Up To The Part Of You That You Haven't Learned To Love

Your Gifts Are Disguised As Problems

I'd like to take you on a journey into yourself, to the part you haven't learned to love.

Why am I qualified to write about this, let alone believe you need self-love?

Reflect on a time where you experienced negative emotions such as anger, frustration, hate, anxiety, fear or worry?

If you experienced these emotions more than frequently, you need self-love more than you realize.

This is not a patronizing statement to minimize your self-worth. Any time you experience disempowering emotions, it is a call to wake up to parts of you you've ignored.

Think of a time you were accused of something by another person and were offended by the allegation.

Perhaps you retaliated in anger and inflamed the situation, thus experiencing a flood of toxic emotions.

I use the words toxic and disempowering to describe lower emotional states, in contrast to emotions of a higher frequency such as love, peace, joy, etc.

What you consider challenging in your life is a gift disguised as problems, to bring you back to the wholeness of yourself.

To reunite with the oneness of your being requires taking the journey into yourself.

It involves connecting with your forgotten self. You will recognize this part of you when you let go of the beliefs, ideas and stories you believe to be true.

This authentic self is real and you will recognize it the moment you get a glimpse of it.

Often, people come into your life to awaken you to your greater self. They are gift-bearing life lessons and experiences you didn't know you needed until that time.

They won't appear in the form you expect, however, they will force you to examine the fragmented parts you've dissociated with.

Author Matt Kahn explains in Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins with You how to draw your awareness to your body and notice what the pain or strong emotions are inviting you to connect with: "Just by bringing greater attention to the part of your body where strong emotions or physical pain linger, you are loosening each layer of cellular memory to assist in another moment of healing."

How Others View You Is Never About You

The following is something I experienced years ago and helped me to reconnect with parts of me I had overlooked at the time.

I'd known my friend for many years, yet there was a point in our friendship where he was constantly criticising me for my life choices.

This caused tension between us and there came a point where I was ready to abandon the friendship altogether because of the constant criticism. I felt as though our friendship had disintegrated beyond repair and I was ready to walk away.

However, looking back, I realize that my friend was a gift in a form I didn't recognize. He forced me to look deep within myself and heal the part of me I was at war with.

I was easily offended by his criticism and felt justified because of the hurt I experienced. I neglected to realize the negative emotions were really a mask inviting me to love and integrate my fractured parts.

Matt Khan states: "As a remedy, it is important to remember that how others view you is never about you at all. While they can share their views and opinions about who you are in their play, it doesn't have to match up with who you know yourself to be."

I possessed the qualities he was criticising in me, otherwise I wouldn't have been offended by it.

Have you noticed when somebody judges you for something you believe is untrue, you are less likely to take offense because it seems ridiculous?

This happens when you integrate the fractured parts of your psyche into the oneness of your being.

Awaken From Your Sleep

When you are judged by another person, they too possess that quality you are being judged for. If you are insulted, you are identifying with the judgment and must heal that part of yourself.

Matt Kahn explains how what you take offence to is the process of healing through your nervous system: "On a cellular level, whenever a person has an emotional reaction, their nervous system is releasing layers of conditioning."

So when others point the finger at you, it is symbolic of directing you back to yourself. It may not seem that way because your ego is inflamed.

However, if you allow the dust to settle and look deep into yourself, you will realise the seed of what you are being accused of is present within you.

Your accusers may appear like a wolf in sheep's clothing, yet they are a gift because they force you to come home to yourself, instead of identifying with your unintegrated parts.

If it hurts to hear what they are accusing you of, it means you are not seeing how that quality can help you awaken from your sleep.

It is calling you to let go of judging yourself and love the part of you that is: hurt, angry, betrayed or let down.

I'm not suggesting you not be upset by their accusations because this would be insensitive of you. I'm inviting you to feel the pain and look deep within yourself to heal the part of you that is irritated by the pain.

It was the Buddha who proclaimed centuries ago: "Painful feelings arose, but they did not invade my mind and remain."

Part of you wants to come home to your core self.

This part is the integration of all that you are and will ever be. It is awaiting your return when you let go of the storyline the ego espouses.

The process of awakening and enlightenment requires seeing past the falsehoods of the ego and reuniting with the wholeness of your core nature.

To live a remarkable life, you must take consistent action in spite of your fears and doubts. Download a FREE copy of my motivational eBook, NAVIGATE LIFE and embark upon your journey of greatness today!

By Tony Fahkry

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Why People Always Treat You According To The Way You Unconsciously Treat Yourself

Find Peace Within Yourself

Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you will ever foster in your life.

I don't mean to underscore other relationships, yet it all starts and ends with you.

Everyone wants to be liked and accepted. It is human nature to fit in and integrate.

If you act unconsciously without being mindful of your intentions, you are carrying out unconscious commands.

If you haven't reconciled these thoughts, they are likely to dictate your life. If you set a software program to run at a particular time of day, it will continue to do so until you override the function.

You are the user of your thoughts.

If you are not receiving the love and respect you deserve, I encourage you to look inwards and heal those thoughts, not in alignment with the relationships you want to attract.

Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len is a Hawaiian psychologist who used an ancient Hawaiian method called Ho'oponopono, based on reconciliation and forgiveness to heal an entire ward of criminally insane patients.

He did this without meeting them or being in the same room as them, but by repeating the mantra: "I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you."

That is, he healed himself first. The premise is that when he reconciled and forgave parts of himself, the entire ward of patients healed.

Whilst I acknowledge this might sound farfetched, I've read many books, articles and watched countless footage of this practice and seen how powerful it is.

The point I wish to emphasize is, when you find peace within yourself, outside circumstances will reflect that.

Have you met people consumed by their victimhood and believe their relationship problems stem from being treated badly?

One needs only tune in to reality TV and within minutes you'll overhear conversations of people being undermined.

Place A Value On Your Self-Worth

To draw a simple analogy. Consider a sharp stone lodged in your shoe while you walk around consumed by the pain. No matter who you meet, whether or not they are pleasant, your focus is drawn to the pain, not your interactions with them.

By removing the stone, you realize how it was blemishing your interactions with people. The pain affected your relationship with them because it made it difficult to be fully present and engaged.

This is what many people do.

They are unaware of carrying unresolved emotional baggage and use it as a shield to defend themselves. Yet, the shield does little to protect them but discolor their interaction with others.

Author Matt Kahn explains in Whatever Arises, Love That: A Love Revolution That Begins With You that we must develop self-honesty before we can become aware of how we want others to treat us: "Before you can be honest in the presence of another, it is essential to learn how to be honest with yourself. This requires a courageous depth of integrity to become aware of how you want others to treat you so that you can be that way for others whether or not they're able to do so in return for you."

I often repeat this message in seminars and when coaching clients. I don't take credit for it and believe it was the late Dr. Wayne Dyer who first coined the phrase. I only remind people of its power: "You constantly coach people how to treat you."

It means: if you allow others to treat you unfairly, it signifies on an unconscious level that you feel unworthy.

Whilst you realize it is unacceptable, you feel vindictive because you didn't stand up for yourself. You might blame the other person for treating you wrong and they may have done so.

However, a person with a strong self-worth recognizes the behavior as unjust and respectfully disallows it.

Being assertive does not involve being mean-spirited, it means valuing your self-worth and upholding this as a reminder to others.

The key is to recognize deceitful behavior and not allow others to treat you dishonesty. This happens when you maintain a healthy relationship with yourself by placing value on your self-worth.

Matt Kahn says treating others with respect because of their inability to treat you well has more to do with the relationship they have with themselves: "In the heart of surrender, treating people far better than they treat you becomes an acceptable way to live, especially because their inability to treat you well has nothing to do with you, but reflects the kind of relationship they have with themselves."

What You Become Is Reflected In Your Destiny

Nowadays, I appreciate the congruence of a person's word and their actions. I assess people by their deeds and will give them the benefit of the doubt on more than one occasion.

However, if they undermine my faith, I'm likely to walk away from the relationship, irrespective of whether I aim to profit from it, financially or otherwise.

I hold no hostile relationships with people because I make it my intention to treat others as I would treat myself. And because I treat myself in high esteem, I foster this behavior in all my relationships.

You see it comes down to values.

You must be purposeful about what you value in your life. I'm not talking about a career, relationships or life purpose but the values you live by.

"Although all values are considered worthy and important to most people, values vary in how important they are to each person. The more important a value is, the more likely people are to act in ways that allow them to express it and attain the goals underlying it," write authors Sonia Roccas and Lilach Sagiv in Values and Behavior: Taking a Cross-Cultural Perspective.

What code of conduct do you abide by?

Is it: loyalty, trust, respect or moral character?

What you uphold is what you become and what you become is reflected in your destiny. You are continually writing the script of your future via your thoughts and actions, irrespective of your awareness.

If you would like others to treat you better, firstly examine any unresolved conflicts within yourself.

"The catalyst of rejection is life's way of reminding you how other people are not always created to treat you better than you treat yourself," affirms Matt Kahn.

Self-inquiry and journaling are powerful methods to help you heal unresolved conflicts, so is working with a trained therapist.

To make peace and transform your unconscious thoughts means to develop a wholesome relationship with yourself. Your interactions and relationships become more relatable instead of hostile.

You are no longer at war with yourself and this is mirrored in your relationships.

Release and renew is a mantra I have emphasized in recent articles.

To change the foundations of your life, let go of the old and tired and create the ideal conditions for the life you wish to merge into.

After all, people treat you according to the way you unconsciously treat yourself.

As leadership expert John C. Maxwell writes in Your Road Map For Success: You Can Get There from Here: "If you want others to treat you more kindly, you must develop better people skills. There is no sure way to make other people in your environment improve."

It is by making the unconscious conscious that you come to develop healthy relationships that originate from your authentic self.

By Tony Fahkry

To live a remarkable life, you must take consistent action in spite of your fears and doubts. Download a FREE copy of my motivational eBook, NAVIGATE LIFE and embark upon your journey of greatness today!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Tony_Fahkry/837610

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